Well, well, well, look what we have here. Spirit Airlines, purveyor of the finest in budget air travel (if you consider 'budget' synonymous with 'mildly terrifying'), has flown the coop from Latrobe, Pennsylvania. Turns out those woke security lines weren't worth the virtue signaling after all. Shocking.

Remember when everyone was virtue signaling about 'equity' and 'access' and how every rural town deserved a direct flight to Cancun? Turns out, economics laughs at your feelings. Supply and demand, baby. Spirit realized Latrobe was about as profitable as a Biden energy policy, and bounced. And you know what? Based.

The libs are probably clutching their pearls, whining about 'corporate greed' and 'systemic injustice.' Reality check: Spirit is a business, not a charity. Their job is to make money, not subsidize your woke travel fantasies. If Latrobe wants cheap flights, maybe they should try lowering taxes and cutting regulations instead of demanding everyone get a participation trophy.

The locals are mourning the loss of their precious Spirit flights and free parking. Boo hoo. Maybe they should have invested in some noise-canceling headphones and a hazmat suit instead of complaining about the lack of legroom. Just sayin'.

This is what happens when you let woke ideology infect everything. Businesses can't survive on rainbows and unicorn farts. They need profits. And when those profits dry up, they leave. It's called capitalism, snowflakes. Look it up.

Now, Latrobe is stuck with its short security lines and free parking. Big whoop. They'll probably end up turning the airport into a woke art exhibit or something. Maybe they can rename it the 'Kamala Harris Memorial Airport' and charge people $50 to take a picture in front of it. Genius!

So, to the residents of Latrobe, I say: learn from this. Don't rely on corporations to solve your problems. Don't expect handouts. And for the love of God, stop being so woke. Otherwise, you'll end up like Spirit: broke and headed somewhere else. Probably Martha's Vineyard.

This whole situation is a microcosm of everything that's wrong with America today. We're so obsessed with virtue signaling and identity politics that we've forgotten the basics of economics. Wake up, people! The free market is the only way to prosperity. And it doesn't care about your pronouns.

Anyway, RIP Spirit Airlines in Latrobe. You were good for a few laughs, even if your planes smelled like a combination of wet dog and despair. Now go forth and find a town that appreciates your commitment to affordable awfulness.

Just remember, kids: get woke, go broke. It's the new American motto.

And if you're still crying about the loss of your cheap flights, I suggest you invest in a good pair of hiking boots. Because you're gonna be walking. A lot.

DeSantis 2024. Make America Based Again.

Sources: * Bureau of Transportation Statistics (www.bts.gov) - Numbers don't lie, snowflakes. * The Federalist (www.thefederalist.com) - For when you need a dose of reality. * PragerU (www.prageru.com) - Because education is important, even if you don't want it.