So, British Airways' parent company, IAG, is throwing a hissy fit because the price of jet fuel went kaboom after that totally-not-staged US-Israeli scuffle with Iran. Color me shocked. These guys, who also own Aer Lingus, Iberia, and Vueling, are now claiming they'll spend an extra €2 billion (£1.72bn) on fuel this year. You know who really pays for that, right? Hint: it's not the Davos set sipping champagne in First Class.

IAG conveniently hedged 70% of their fuel, but that other 30%? That's on you, the flying public. They're whining about €9 billion in fuel costs, up from €7.1 billion. Boo hoo. Maybe they should have invested in better hedges, or, you know, not supported policies that lead to global conflicts in the first place.

Luis Gallego, IAG's chief executive (probably flying private, natch), says they're "actively managing the uncertainty." Translation: raising prices and cutting corners. He admits profits will be lower. Thoughts and prayers. Instead of crying to the media maybe they should have focused on securing cheaper fuel contracts instead of pushing woke agendas in their airlines.

Oil prices peaked at $126 a barrel. Remember when Trump was president and gas was, like, two bucks a gallon? Good times. Now, thanks to Brandon and his clown posse, we're funding wars and lining the pockets of oil sheiks. But hey, at least we're “saving the planet,” right?

Cirium data shows 2 million airline seats got Thanos-snapped from this month's schedules. Fewer flights, higher prices, same crummy service. Meanwhile, Heathrow only lost 111 flights. Gotta keep those elites jet-setting, amirite?

Of course, there are fears of jet fuel shortages. Goldman Sachs says the UK is screwed because they import fuel and don't refine enough. Sounds like a great plan, guys. Rely on everyone else for your survival.

IAG's seeing "strong demand" everywhere except, ironically, near the conflict zone. Go figure. They made a pre-tax profit of €422m. Don't worry they are not suffering enough to miss their next 5 star vacation in the Maldives. IAG stock tanked 5%. Serves 'em right.

So, next time you're crammed into a tiny seat with a screaming baby and paying $12 for a lukewarm coffee, remember this story. Remember that these corporations don't give a damn about you. They only care about profits. Buckle up, buttercups. It's gonna be a bumpy ride.