MINNEAPOLIS, Minn. – So, the revolution is here, folks. And by “revolution” we mean a gaggle of terminally online commies LARPing in Minneapolis, demanding a 20-hour workweek and the government seizing all the “billionaire’s” (aka, productive people's) assets. Yeah, good luck with that. These useful idiots, fresh from their Gender Studies classes, are now experts on economics, apparently.

According to Fox News (yes, that Fox News), these champagne socialists are infiltrating actual protest movements, like some kind of ideological virus. Owen Phernetton, a proud member of the Revolutionary Communists of America (probably lives with his parents), wants to hand “political and economic power to the working class.” You know, the real working class, like baristas and TikTok influencers. He envisions a world where factories, mines, and… I dunno, artisanal pickle shops are all collectively owned. Sounds like a recipe for mass starvation and fashionable gulags.

And get this: Phernetton wants to confiscate all the wealth from those pesky billionaires and use it to fund “government-backed healthcare, education, and housing.” Because, as we all know, government is super efficient at allocating resources. Just ask anyone who’s ever dealt with the DMV. Of course, he also wants a 20-hour workweek with no pay cut. Because why not? Free stuff for everyone! Who cares about productivity or economic reality? It's all just vibes, man.

Then there's Andy Koch from the Freedom Road Socialist Organization (FRSO). Koch claims the country is run by billionaires for billionaires. Which is hilarious, considering he’d gladly take their money if they offered it. The hypocrisy is truly breathtaking.

Look, we all know these ideas are insane. But the fact that they’re gaining traction, even on the fringes, should be a wake-up call. These people are serious. They want to fundamentally transform America into some kind of dystopian socialist paradise. And they’re using protest movements as a Trojan horse to push their agenda.

So, what can you do? Simple: call out these clowns whenever you see them. Expose their hypocrisy. Remind them that socialism has failed every single time it’s been tried. And, most importantly, defend freedom and common sense. Because the future of America depends on it.

Don't let the tankies win, bros. It's time to do some epic ownage.

Remember Venezuela? Cause the kids in Minneapolis don't.