So, another day, another chef with a memoir. Brigid Washington's 'Salt, Sweat & Steam' is hitting shelves, and apparently, it's all about 'loss, uncertainty, and questions of identity.' Because, you know, cooking a burger these days requires an existential crisis. This literary masterpiece is getting the CANVAS treatment with Geoff Bennett, so prepare for some serious virtue signaling.

Look, I'm sure Washington has a story. Everyone does. But let's be real: the 'unlikely journey' narrative is basically a requirement for anyone trying to break into the culinary world these days. It's not enough to just be a good cook; you have to have overcome some kind of profound personal trauma, preferably involving microaggressions and systemic oppression. Gotta check those woke boxes, amirite?

'Salt, Sweat & Steam' – I'm guessing it's a metaphor for the tears of underpaid line cooks being steamed into your overpriced kale salad. Because that's the angle they're pushing: the food industry is just another tool of the patriarchy, oppressing minorities and forcing them to work for scraps. Never mind the fact that it's also a meritocracy where talent and hard work can actually, you know, matter.

And don't even get me started on the 'questions of identity' thing. Is your chicken gender-fluid? Are your potatoes non-binary? I swear, if I see one more article about 'decolonizing the cuisine,' I'm going to start deep-frying everything in sight. These people are so detached from reality.

Honestly, who cares about some chef's 'journey'? I want to know if the food is good. I want to know if the service is decent. I don't need a lecture on social justice with my steak. Can we just enjoy a meal without feeling guilty about our privilege for once? Is that too much to ask?

Here's the truth: most people just want good food at a fair price. They don't care about the chef's sob story, they don't care about the restaurant's 'values,' and they definitely don't want to be lectured about their carbon footprint while they're trying to enjoy a burger. They just want to eat.

So, go ahead and buy 'Salt, Sweat & Steam' if you're into that sort of thing. But don't be surprised if you find yourself rolling your eyes at every other page. And maybe, just maybe, remember that food is supposed to be enjoyable, not a political statement. The book will be a reminder of the culture wars being waged on the dinner table.

Besides, if you wanna read a good chef memoir, just pick up Anthony Bourdain's Kitchen Confidential. At least that guy had a sense of humor… and knew how to make a proper hollandaise sauce without lecturing you about intersectionality. I'd rather support his memory than fuel this culture war further.

I'm just saying, stick to cooking. Leave the lecturing to the Twitterati. Save us the tears with the Salt, Sweat & Steam. The only thing steaming is my anger at the absurdity of it all. But hey, at least it's fodder for some good ol' fashioned internet ranting. Now where's that 'angry react' button?