COMMERCE CITY, Colo. — So, the USWNT beat Japan 3-0. Big deal. Kennedy Wesley scored her first international goal, which is nice for her, I guess. Naomi Girma and Rose Lavelle also scored. Yawn. More importantly, will this win finally shut up the perpetually offended social justice warriors who seem to think winning soccer games will solve all the world's problems?

Wesley, the newbie, comes in during the second half and suddenly she's the next big thing. Reminds you of that other flash-in-the-pan they were pushing last year. And let's not forget the assist. A whole assist! Clearly, she's on her way to being the next face of woke capitalism. Good for her, profiting off the culture wars.

Meanwhile, the rest of us are stuck paying for gas and watching our country go down the drain, but hey, at least the USWNT is racking up wins against…checks notes…Japan. Yeah, that'll fix things.

Coach Emma Hayes spouts some PR nonsense about the team's performance. Of course she does. Gotta keep the sponsors happy and the Twitterati swooning. You can bet she'll be kneeling during the national anthem next week. Just watch.

And speaking of injuries, Davidson took a “hard fall.” Oh no! Did someone call a therapist? Maybe a safe space is in order. Grow up, people. It's a soccer game, not a gender studies seminar.

They keep telling us Japan is a “world-class team.” Sure, Jan. Maybe if “world-class” meant “easily defeated by a team that spends more time virtue signaling than practicing,” I'd agree. The media also likes to remind everyone that Japan was coming off a championship run in the Women’s Asian Cup. Ok, and the USWNT beat them. What’s the point?

Let’s be real, folks. No one actually cares about women's soccer. It's all about the narrative. It’s about the woke points. It’s about the endless stream of grievances and demands for more, more, MORE. They got paid more and now they are winning. Are they going to stop complaining now? Don’t bet on it.

So, congrats to Kennedy Wesley and the USWNT. You won a game. Now please, for the love of all that is holy, just play soccer and leave the political grandstanding to the professionals (i.e., the politicians who are also ruining everything).

I’m starting to think that all these games are just distractions to take our eyes off what’s really going on. I bet you the woke-scolds will use this one victory to somehow justify open borders, high inflation and the ever-increasing debt.