New York, NY - Another year, another Met Gala, another reason to facepalm into oblivion. This year's theme? Costume Art. Translation? Virtue signaling on steroids, sponsored by none other than Jeff Bezos, who apparently hasn't suffered enough public humiliation. Turns out, even a galactic overlord can't buy his way out of the woke mob's crosshairs. Now, even he's getting the 'eat the rich' treatment. And the worst part? We're paying for it with $100,000 tickets.

So, Bezos, fresh off his divorce and rocket adventures, decides to play Medici. He ponies up the cash to be an “honorary chair” alongside such luminaries as Beyoncé (who's probably more capitalist than all of us combined), Venus Williams, Nicole Kidman, and Anna “Nuclear Winter” Wintour. But instead of gratitude, he gets…boycotts? Apparently, funding the arts is now a crime against humanity. Who knew?

The outrage is being fueled by the usual suspects: virtue-signaling activists and terminally online leftists who think Bezos buying Vogue is somehow worse than Zuck owning our brains. Seriously? Last year's gossip had him buying it as a wedding present. Can't a guy catch a break? Guess Lauren Sanchez deserves better than a digital cover in a Dolce & Gabbana gown.

Even NYC Mayor Zohran Mamdani, desperate for relevance, is skipping the event. Bravo, Zohran! A bold move that will definitely solve all of New York's problems. Meanwhile, Everyone Hates Elon, the British activist group that probably runs on soy and rage, is plastering Manhattan with anti-Bezos propaganda. All this over…a party? The Clown World is real.

And let's not forget the “Costume Art” exhibition itself, curated by Andrew Bolton. Apparently, it’s all about celebrating “marginalized bodies.” Translation: get ready for a parade of gender-bending, body-positive, politically correct fashion statements that will make you long for the days of tasteful elegance. They have 13 “thematic” body types, whatever that means.

Highlights include a “contorted corset” (because nothing says empowerment like restricting your internal organs) and “wearable art made out of Nora Batty-like stockings.” Yeah, that's gonna stop the housing crisis. A late Roman Venus Pudica sculpture is paired with a dress made of human hair. Why? Because art! (And because the woke mind virus demands it.)

So, congratulations, Met Gala. You’ve managed to alienate everyone. The right thinks you’re a bunch of out-of-touch elites, and the left thinks you're complicit in Bezos’s evil empire. You're officially the most cringe event of the year.