Okay, so the art world's still milking Christo for all he's worth, even though he's been pushing up daisies for six years. Apparently, some genius 'studio manager' (probably with pronouns in her bio) 'discovered' a scale model of his 'Package on a Ceiling' installation hidden in a plinth. You know, because artists are notorious for being organized and keeping track of their stuff. Right.

This 'Package on a Ceiling,' which sounds like something you'd find after a really bad Amazon delivery, is supposed to be a 'vast, internally illuminated suspended form, like a cloud.' Translation: some overpriced tarp hanging from the ceiling that rich people will pretend to understand while sipping chardonnay.

It was originally conceived for the Institute of Contemporary Art in Philadelphia, but they couldn't pull it off back in 1968. Probably because it's pretentious garbage. Now, thanks to the wonders of post-mortem exploitation, Gagosian London is going to inflict it on the public. Because nothing says 'artistic expression' like a soulless corporation cashing in on a dead guy's half-baked idea.

Serena Cattaneo Adorno, a 'senior director' at Gagosian (another pronoun-laden bio, guaranteed), says it's 'both architectural and atmospheric.' Right, because words still mean things in the art world. She also claims it's a 'distillation of their thinking to its purest form.' More like a distillation of their bank account to its fullest form.

The studio manager, Lorenza Giovanelli, claims the model was in 'great condition because it's never seen the sunlight.' As opposed to Christo's actual public artworks, which were designed to be temporary and exposed to the elements. But hey, logic doesn't sell overpriced tickets to art galleries.

She also thinks people will find it 'extremely beautiful.' And I'm sure they will, right after they finish admiring the Emperor's New Clothes. Because in the art world, admitting you don't understand something is social suicide.

Apparently, Christo also 'explored the concept of wrapping air' in the 1960s. Which sounds about as useful as wrapping your head in tin foil to block out 5G signals. But hey, if it gets you a grant from the National Endowment for the Arts, who am I to judge?

So, get ready for another round of art world wankery, courtesy of a dead artist and a bunch of wealthy elites pretending to be cultured. And remember, if you don't understand it, it's probably because you're just not enlightened enough. Or maybe, just maybe, it's because it's total BS. Just sayin'.

They'll probably make it woke somehow. Like, the lighting will be sustainable LEDs powered by gender-neutral solar panels. Or something. The possibilities are endless!

Can't wait for the inevitable think-pieces dissecting the socio-political implications of a plastic tarp. It'll be peak clown world.

Meanwhile, the plebs are struggling to afford gas and groceries. But hey, at least we have art!

And you can bet your bottom dollar that this will inspire countless imitations, from college art students to TikTok influencers. The internet is going to be filled with 'cloud' installations made out of trash bags and Christmas lights. Prepare yourselves.

Sources:

* National Endowment for the Arts: [https://www.arts.gov/](https://www.arts.gov/) * Internal Revenue Service (for non-profit status of foundations): [https://www.irs.gov/](https://www.irs.gov/)