Alright, listen up, mates. So apparently, we had a 'record-breaking' warm spell in May Down Under. Beaches were packed, beers were cold, and the lefties were probably hyperventilating about climate change or some other nonsense. But fear not, because Mother Nature, bless her savage heart, is here to blue-pill everyone back to reality with a good old-fashioned cold front.

The Bureau of Meteorology (BoM), those heroes of telling you what you already know (it's gonna rain), are flapping their gums about thunderstorms, rain, windy conditions, and 'abnormally high tides.' Translation: time to break out the ugg boots and complain about the weather like a true Aussie.

Apparently, it was 10 to 14 degrees Celsius above average in some places. Big whoop. Remember that time in '97 when your uncle Barry swore he saw a Tasmanian tiger? Yeah, nobody cares. Temperature records are about as reliable as a politician's promise.

The BoM blames a 'high-pressure system' for the warm weather. Sure, blame the pressure. Don't blame the fact that the sun exists and sometimes it gets hot. Next thing you know, they'll be taxing sunshine.

This cold front is coming all the way from Antarctica, which, by the way, is still covered in ice despite what Greta Thunberg tells you. It merged with a cloud band over Western Australia. Sounds like something out of a Marvel movie, but instead of saving the world, it's just making your BBQ a soggy mess.

Some BoM talking head, Christie Johnson, said there were 'unseasonably warm conditions.' Unseasonably? It's called weather, sweetheart. It changes. Get over it.

Sydney, the land of overpriced coffee and virtue signaling, is gonna be spared the worst of it. Probably because even the weather is woke these days. But Melbourne? Prepare for rain and misery. Serves you right for voting Green.

So, enjoy your brief respite from the 'climate crisis,' snowflakes. The cold front is a reminder that Mother Nature doesn't give a didgeridoo about your feelings. She'll do what she wants, when she wants, and all you can do is huddle inside and complain about it. Now, where's my VB?

Remember when they said we'd all be underwater by 2000? Still waiting. In the meantime, enjoy the cold, build a bonfire (responsibly, of course, unless you're a greenie), and remember: weather is not climate. Stay based, my friends.