Alright, settle down, snowflakes. The Guardian's clutching its pearls again because some folks are sleeping rough and, shocker, sometimes they die. Fourteen a year, they're screeching. Fourteen! Out of a country of, what, 26 million? Someone get the fainting couch.

Their 'analysis' of 'non-public death reports' (sounds legit, totally not agenda-driven) says 54 died in parks and 85 in the bush between 2010 and 2020. So, like, a rounding error in the grand scheme of things. Natural selection, am I right? (Don't @ me, libs.)

They trot out the usual sob stories: a 'young Nepali international student' (how many more we gonna import?), a 'young Aboriginal mother of seven' (maybe wrap it up, champ?), and a dead baby (tragic, sure, but maybe don't set up a homeless camp near a beach).

The root of all this, according to the Woke Brigade, is a lack of 'social and emergency housing.' Newsflash: housing isn't a human right. It's something you work for. And maybe, just maybe, if we weren't letting in half the developing world, there'd be enough to go around for the actual Aussies.

And don't even get me started on the 'three-decade life expectancy gap.' Yeah, no kidding. Living on the street and doing drugs will do that to ya. It's not exactly a secret.

The AIHW data they keep quoting? The social housing waitlist has been getting worse since 2015. Gee, I wonder what happened around then? Could it be that the government started prioritizing virtue signaling and open borders over taking care of its own citizens? Just a thought.

The Guardian's been 'investigating' this for years. I bet. Bet they're just itching for another excuse to guilt-trip taxpayers into funding some useless NGO or 'culturally sensitive' program that nobody asked for.

This whole thing stinks of manufactured outrage. Sure, it's sad when people die. But life's not fair. And maybe, just maybe, instead of demanding more free stuff, these folks should pull themselves up by their bootstraps. Or, failing that, at least find a less scenic spot to expire.

Seriously, though, close the borders. Stop the virtue signaling. And let's focus on taking care of the people who actually belong here. Before we end up like California. No one wants that.