Okay, chuds, listen up. The deep state affidavit tried to gaslight us about when the fuzz found Bryan Kohberger's cringe-mobile, a white 2015 Hyundai Elantra. Turns out, the Washington State University (WSU) PD absolutely dunked on the official timeline, locating the suspect vehicle weeks before the narrative they were trying to sell us.

Emails obtained via a totally legal public records request (because we respect the rule of law, unlike some people) reveal the truth: Officer Tiengo and Sergeant Whitman were basically the canine unit of car locating, finding Kohberger's Elantra a mere 16 hours after getting the tip. Sixteen hours! Meanwhile, the affidavit claimed they started looking days earlier. LMAO.

Then-WSU Police Chief Gary Jenkins, based God, even pointed out the discrepancy in an email to his staff. He's basically saying, "Yo, the affidavit is fake news. We were way faster and more efficient than they're letting on." This is the kind of based truth-telling we need more of. Drain the swamp, one Elantra at a time.

Let's be real, the media was probably too busy pushing their narrative about systemic racism or whatever to actually check the facts. But we did. Because we're the only ones who care about the truth. And also, we have a lot of free time.

Remember, this is the same media that tried to convince us that Trump colluded with Russia and that men can get pregnant. So, forgive us if we're a little skeptical of their narratives. Especially when the facts clearly show they're full of it.

This whole thing is just another example of how the deep state tries to control the narrative and keep us in the dark. But thanks to based cops like Tiengo and Whitman, and based whistleblowers like Jenkins, the truth always comes out eventually. Even if it's just about a white Hyundai Elantra.

So, next time you hear someone spouting off about how incompetent the police are, remember this story. Remember the WSU PD, and remember how they absolutely owned the libs by finding Kohberger's ride way faster than anyone expected. And remember to always question the official narrative. Because chances are, it's probably fake news.

Oh, and don't forget to buy my book, "How to Spot a Commie in Your Coffee Shop." Available wherever fine books are sold (or, you know, on Amazon).

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go write a strongly worded letter to my congressman about the dangers of gender-affirming care for cats. Stay based, my friends.