Okay, so Savannah Guthrie, the perpetually outraged 'Today' show host who cries about Trump every morning, her mom's gone walkabout. Callahan Walsh from 'America's Most Wanted,' a guy who actually knows about missing people because his BROTHER was kidnapped and murdered (wake up, snowflakes!), says this whole thing is...weird. Color me shocked.

Walsh, whose origin story makes Greta Thunberg's look like a trip to Disney World, points out that old folks don't just vanish into thin air like Hogwarts students. Usually, they wander off to find their dentures or accidentally drive into a lake. But this? This smells like a three-day-old tuna salad sandwich left in a hot car. Something ain't right.

The investigation's been hotter than AOC's takes, then colder than Biden at a spelling bee. Walsh even admitted that. Meanwhile, Guthrie's throwing around a million bucks like it's Monopoly money to get her mom back. Good for her, I guess. Maybe she should donate some of that to solving the border crisis her network ignores?

And speaking of cash, she also dropped half a mil on Walsh's charity. A tax write-off AND good PR? Genius! (Not really, but whatever gets the job done). Walsh is, of course, grateful because that money actually helps families. Maybe he should start an OnlyFans, too, 'cause the government clearly ain't doing squat.

Walsh rightly points out that kids are important (duh), but let's be real, this whole case has more twists than a CNN election night. Is it foul play? Did Nancy Guthrie just decide she'd had enough of Savannah's lecturing and dipped? We don't know. But I'm calling it now: this ain't no average missing person case. This is the kinda case that makes you question everything...especially virtue-signaling TV hosts.