Madrid – So, the US military pulls off a daring raid, nabs Maduro (finally!), and what do we get? Another unelected bureaucrat in charge. María Corina Machado is stuck holding a rally in Madrid, and it's all thanks to Trump's masterful negotiation skills. Turns out, draining the swamp just means replacing the alligators with slightly less ugly crocodiles.

Machado, bless her heart, thought she was finally going to get her shot. After all, everyone and their dog knows she won the 2024 election. But no, Trump swoops in, does a 'deal' with Maduro's VP, Delcy Rodríguez, and suddenly we're supposed to believe she's the best thing since sliced bread. Because reasons. Venezuela's got oil, and Trump likes oil. Simple as.

“We’re very happy with the president-elect that we have right now,” says Trump, completely ignoring the fact that Rodríguez wasn't elected by anyone. It's almost like he forgot why he was supposed to be making America great again, and instead decided to play geopolitical chess with Venezuela's oil reserves. MAGA, amirite?

Now, Machado's stuck in Madrid, probably wondering if she should have just stayed in Venezuela and fought it out instead of going to collect that virtue-signaling Nobel Prize. But hey, at least she got a photo op in Norway.

Rodríguez, meanwhile, is busy consolidating her power, purging anyone who still has a shred of loyalty to Maduro, and plastering her face all over Caracas. The propaganda is so thick you could spread it on toast. “Onwards, Delcy, you have my trust,” the posters scream. Yeah, right. Just like we trusted Fauci. How'd that go?

Her brother, Jorge Rodríguez, the head of the National Assembly, is helpfully dodging questions about elections. “The most important thing right now is the economy,” he says, which is code for “We’re going to stay in power as long as possible, elections be damned.”

Even the establishment swamp creatures are starting to raise eyebrows. Tom Shannon, a former US diplomat, is whining about how Rodríguez being in charge is “devastating for the opposition.” Well, duh. That's the point of coups, isn't it? To install someone who's going to play ball with the US?

Shannon also points out that Trump's shiny object distraction in Iran is helping Rodríguez. “The pressure’s off now,” he says. Thanks, Trump! Another job well done.