In what can only be described as a masterclass in political gravity, Senate Republicans spent their Wednesday night frantically bending the knee to Donald Trump. Just hours after getting absolutely roasted at a Capitol Hill luncheon, the GOP establishment scrambled to reject a symbolic war powers resolution that would have restricted the administration's military actions in Iran. The final vote came in at 47-50-1 right before midnight, sending the senators home for their two-week recess with their collective tails tucked.

This classic legislative flip-flop comes just one day after the same Senate allowed a nearly identical anti-war bill to pass, making the White House absolutely furious. Trump, never one to let a betrayal slide, rolled up to the Capitol on Wednesday and immediately began hand-delivering verbal wedgies to anyone who crossed him. During the lunch, Trump reportedly launched into a tirade against his own party members, calling those who opposed his military actions "losers" and questioning why any Republican would support the War Powers Act.

This entire fight is basically a rehash of the 1973 War Powers Act, a dusty piece of legislation passed over Richard Nixon’s veto back when politicians were crying about the Vietnam War. The law is supposed to stop the President from playing real-life Call of Duty without permission from Congress, requiring them to get approval within 60 days. But let’s be real: every single president since Nixon has treated the War Powers Act like a suggestion rather than a rule. Trump’s open contempt for the act during the lunch is just him saying out loud what every other president has done behind closed doors, and the GOP’s quick surrender proves nobody actually cares about the 1973 rules when the Boss is in the room.

The main event of the lunch was a high-stakes shouting match between Trump and Louisiana Senator Bill Cassidy. Cassidy, who already got wrecked in his state's primary last month after Trump backed his opponent, tried to act tough when Trump questioned why anyone would support the War Powers Act. Cassidy snarkily asked if it was a rhetorical question, prompting Trump to respond by calling him a "lunatic" right there in front of everyone.

But the real comedy happened after the lunch. Instead of standing on his principles, Cassidy was quickly summoned to the White House for some high-level "re-education" by Vice President JD Vance and special envoy Steve Witkoff. After getting "thoroughly briefed"—which is political code for getting his mind right—Cassidy ran back to the Capitol and voted exactly how Trump wanted. He even posted a thank-you note on X like a good boy, appreciating the quick invitation to the White House.