Trump Did WHAT?! Orange Man Accidentally Triggers Green New Deal 2.0
Turns out, bombing Iran is a surprisingly effective way to make normies buy Priuses – who knew?

Okay, so hear me out. Remember when everyone said Trump was a fossil fuel puppet? Turns out, he might just be the ultimate deep-state agent for Big Wind and Solar. Ironic, huh?
Yeah, yeah, I know. He gutted environmental regs, called Greta a whiny brat, and promised to bring back coal. But then he goes and bombs Iran, and suddenly everyone's panic-buying Teslas and solar panels. It's like a fever dream, I tell ya.
Oil prices are through the roof, Chevron execs are laughing all the way to the bank (again), and Putin's got a few more rubles to play with in Ukraine. Sounds about right. The usual suspects profiting off chaos while the peasants get fleeced.
But here's the kicker: Apparently, regular people are actually waking up to the fact that relying on Middle Eastern oil is about as smart as trusting a politician. Shocking, I know. They're starting to ask questions, like, 'Hey, maybe we shouldn't be funding despots and terrorists with our gas money?'
So, what's a panicked consumer to do? Slap some solar panels on the roof, buy a virtue-signaling electric car, and pretend they're saving the planet. Inquiries about EVs are up like crazy in Europe, even a bit in the US where Trump tried to bury the tech.
And the best part? The tech is actually getting good! Batteries are getting better, cheaper, and faster. We might actually be able to ditch those dirty fossil fuel plants sooner than we thought. Quantum batteries? Sounds like something out of Star Trek, but hey, maybe it's real this time.
So, thanks, Orange Man. You may have accidentally stumbled into a green revolution. Of course, the government will probably find a way to screw it up, but for now, let's enjoy the irony. Buy puts on Big Oil, short the apocalypse, and enjoy the show.
Who would have thought the libs would be thanking Trump for something? Guess anything is possible in this clown world.

