WASHINGTON (AP) – Well, well, well, look who's back from sipping tea with the ChiComs. Turns out, while Trump was busy getting the VIP treatment in China, the U.S. economy decided to throw a party – an inflation party, and everyone's invited to pay more for everything. That's right, folks, consumer inflation is sitting pretty at 3.8%, higher than when he took office.

Sure, the libtards and Never Trumpers are quick to blame the Orange Man for this mess. They'll squawk about the Iran war (which, let's be honest, was necessary) and the tariffs (which are supposed to Make America Great Again, dammit!). But let's get real: the inflation fire was already smoldering thanks to the swamp creatures and their love of printing money. And now we see Biden's to blame, I mean come on, am I right?!?

Those tariffs, though? Yeah, they might sting a little at the register. But think of it like this: it's a small price to pay to own the libs and show China who's boss. Plus, remember when everyone said Trump's trade war would destroy the economy? Still waiting for that to happen, snowflakes.

And Iran? Look, sometimes you gotta break a few eggs to make an omelet. A stable Middle East (or at least, a Middle East that isn't controlled by radical mullahs) is good for everyone, even if it means gas prices go up a bit. Suck it up, buttercups. Or better yet, buy a Tesla – owned! And you know the left has to be involved if the Middle East is unstable.

Of course, the Fed will probably start printing even MORE money...Oh wait, sorry, my bad. They're gonna RAISE interest rates, which will only make things worse for average Joes and Janes. Because that's how the system works, folks: rig it for the elites, screw over the peasants. MAGA, am I right?

Meanwhile, back in Beijing, Trump probably got a good chuckle out of all this. He knows how to play the game. He knows how to troll the media. And he definitely knows how to Make America Great Again – even if it means a little inflation along the way. So sit back, grab a beer (domestic, of course), and enjoy the show. It's gonna be a wild ride.

The real issue is the devaluation of the dollar, thanks to years of reckless spending by both parties. But hey, who needs sound money when you can have virtue signaling? That's a joke, people. A joke.

So next time you're at the grocery store, paying $10 for a gallon of milk (okay, maybe not quite that bad yet), remember who's really to blame: the swamp, the globalists, the commies, and anyone who voted for Hillary. And Biden. Also, the people who still wear masks outdoors.

And remember, Donald Trump is just getting started.