Oh, great, the Tony Awards. That time of year when the champagne socialists on Broadway pat themselves on the back for being so progressive while charging $500 a ticket. Daniel Radcliffe and Rose Byrne are up for some statues, because of course they are. But let's be real, is anyone actually excited, or are we just waiting for the inevitable woke sermon disguised as an acceptance speech?

Radcliffe's nominated for Every Brilliant Thing, a one-man show about depression. Okay, fine, mental health awareness is good. But you just know some trust fund kid in the audience will claim it personally triggered their PTSD from a microaggression at Yale. Byrne's up for Fallen Angels, which, judging by the name, probably involves a lot of gender studies buzzwords and performative outrage about the patriarchy.

And speaking of woke, The Lost Boys (the musical!) and Schmigadoon! are leading the nominations. The Lost Boys? Seriously? Is this some kind of nostalgia cash grab designed to appeal to millennials who peaked in the 90s? And Schmigadoon! sounds like something your grandma watches on PBS while knitting cat sweaters.

Then there's Layton Williams in Titaníque. Good for him, I guess. But you just know the virtue-signaling media will use his nomination to lecture us all about diversity and representation. I'm not saying he's not talented, but I am saying the optics are pretty sus.

Look, I'm not against celebrating talent, but the Tony Awards have become a parody of themselves. It's all about identity politics, virtue signaling, and awards for people who already have too much money. Where's the celebration of actual artistic merit?

Let's be honest: Broadway is now a playground for the elites. Regular folks can barely afford to see a show, let alone get tickets to the Tonys. It's an echo chamber of self-congratulation, where everyone pretends to care about the issues of the common man while sipping Dom Perignon in their designer gowns.

The problem isn't necessarily the actors themselves (though some of them are insufferable). The problem is the system. It's the liberal elite's echo chamber. The people making the art are wealthy and out-of-touch, the people reviewing the art are wealthy and out-of-touch, and the people consuming the art are wealthy and out-of-touch. Anyone else is just along for the ride, hoping to catch a glimpse of a celebrity and feel vaguely cultured.

So, yeah, congrats to Radcliffe and Byrne. But don't expect me to shed a tear when the woke brigade inevitably turns the Tony Awards into another tedious political lecture. I'll be too busy watching Die Hard and thinking about how much better things were when men were men, and Broadway wasn't a social justice battleground.