WASHINGTON – Okay, so here’s the deal. They're saying some dude tried to off Trump at the White House Correspondents' Association dinner. A shooting, allegedly, targeting an alleged Secret Service agent. Sounds pretty serious, right? Except the story is flakier than Kamala's attempts at sincerity.

First, Trump comes out guns blazing (pun intended), saying his boy in the Secret Service took a bullet like a champ. Bulletproof vest, of course, because, you know, tactical. Then, the DOJ drops an affidavit that mentions a dude named Cole Tomas Allen, 31, with enough hardware to start a small war (semi-auto, shotgun, knives, the whole nine yards), but suspiciously omits the whole 'Secret Service agent got shot' thing. Awkward.

Suddenly, the Acting US Attorney General, Todd Blanche, is doing the tap dance. One minute he's confirming the agent got shot, the next he's all, “We’re still looking into it, guys!” It’s like watching Biden try to remember what day it is. Spoiler alert: he won't.

The criminal complaint? Even more sus. It says Allen ran through a magnetometer waving a long gun, someone heard a bang, and an agent named V.G. got shot in the chest (vested, obvi). But it doesn’t explicitly accuse Allen of pulling the trigger. That's like accusing Hillary of deleting emails without actually accusing her. Wait a minute...

Mark Lesko, a former US Attorney, bless his heart, points out the obvious: if the government had proof Allen shot the agent, they'd be screaming it from the rooftops. The fact that they're tip-toeing around it suggests they got nothing. Or, worse, they're cooking something up.

And don’t even get me started on the fact that Allen hasn’t been charged with assaulting a Secret Service officer. It's like they forgot to charge Al Capone with tax evasion. The whole thing smells fishier than a seafood buffet at a communist convention. This is a cover up if I've ever seen one.

So, what’s really going on here? Was this a genuine assassination attempt? A staged event to make Trump look good? A complete and utter fabrication by the Deep State to smear someone? Honestly, at this point, your guess is as good as mine. But one thing's for sure: the official narrative is about as trustworthy as a CNN fact-check.

I'm not saying it didn't happen, I'm just saying I'm more inclined to believe that Elvis is still alive and working at a gas station in Montana than trust anything coming out of the Justice Department these days. Keep your eyes peeled, folks. The truth is out there, probably buried under a mountain of lies and obfuscation. #MAGA #DeepState #FalseFlag #TrustNoOne

They are trying to smear Trump with anything they can.

It feels like it's getting harder to believe anything coming from these people.

Further details are expected to emerge as the investigation progresses and more evidence is processed. The public awaits clarification on the conflicting reports surrounding the alleged shooting of the Secret Service officer.

Now is the time to question everything.