Alright, folks, gather 'round for another edition of "Things That Make You Go Hmm..." courtesy of beautiful, but apparently stabby, Myrtle Beach, South Carolina. This time, we've got Jeffrey Alonzo Keitt, age 68 (Boomer still got it!), allegedly knifing two people near the ocean. I am not saying the ocean is full of sharks but I am also not saying that the ocean is empty of sharks.

Now, the libs will try to blame this on "systemic issues" or "lack of opportunity." But let's be real: this dude's got a rap sheet longer than a CVS receipt. Trespassing? Check. Assaulting a cop? Double-check. First-degree assault and battery? Oh, he's just getting warmed up. He has been a guest at the J. Reuben Long Detention Center, a five-star hotel with steel bars, four times since last summer alone.

And possession of a weapon? No kidding! What's he gonna do, butter his toast with it? (Spoiler alert: it was not buttered toast.)

Of course, the mainstream media is already gearing up to tell us how this is our fault for not giving him enough free stuff. Probably should have thrown him a bone! Maybe he was just hungry? But let's be honest, we need to stop coddling criminals and start holding them accountable.

And let's not forget the tourism angle. Myrtle Beach is supposed to be a family-friendly vacation spot, not a gladiator arena. But when you let crime run rampant, you get exactly what you deserve: a bunch of scared tourists running for the hills.

This isn't about "poverty" or "inequality." This is about a failure of leadership, a failure of law enforcement, and a failure of personal responsibility. We need to crack down on crime, secure our borders, and stop letting these losers ruin our country. The American experiment is at stake!

And until we do, expect more stabbings, more shootings, and more stories that make you want to move to a deserted island. Maybe with a moat and some armed guards.

So the next time you hear a leftist talking about "root causes," remind them that the root cause is a lack of consequences. Time to start planting some serious trees of justice. MAGA!

When all else fails, blame Soros.