Alright, folks, strap in, because the Middle East just went full-on Michael Bay. Retaliatory strikes are flying faster than Hunter Biden's laptop can be scrubbed, and guess who's footing the bill? You guessed it, Uncle Sam.

So, we've got missiles raining down on Israel and the Gulf states. One poor sap in the UAE got turned into modern art by falling debris. Tragic, sure, but let's be real – it's just Tuesday in the sandbox.

The geniuses in Washington are probably scrambling to figure out how to blame Trump for this, while simultaneously sending pallets of cash to Tehran in the name of 'de-escalation.' De-escalation? More like enabling. They're probably cackling all the way to the Ayatollah's yacht.

Remember that Iran nuclear deal? The one that was supposed to bring peace and rainbows? Yeah, well, it turns out giving billions to a regime that chants 'Death to America' might not have been the brightest idea. Who could have seen that coming?

Our 'allies' in the region are shaking in their boots, wondering if Biden is gonna cut and run like he did in Afghanistan. Can't say I blame them. We're sending Ukraine billions and praying for a safe space. Gotta make sure our priorities are in order.

Meanwhile, the woke military is focused on pronouns and CRT training while our enemies are building missiles. No wonder they're taking potshots at our bases. It's like playing Call of Duty on 'easy' mode.

Here's a thought: maybe, just maybe, we should stop trying to be the world's babysitter and focus on securing our own damn border. Build the wall, deport the freeloaders, and let the Middle East sort itself out. It's been a dumpster fire for millennia; ain't nothing we can do to fix it.

But no, we'll keep throwing money into the abyss, pretending that 'diplomacy' is the answer. Newsflash: you can't negotiate with zealots who want to wipe you off the map. They want your land, your women, and your freedom. And they're not gonna stop until they get it.

So, prepare for more headlines, more explosions, and more American taxpayer dollars going up in smoke. Because in the wonderful world of foreign policy, failure is always an option... as long as someone else is paying for it.

Sources:

* Middle East Media Research Institute (MEMRI) * Congressional Research Service (CRS)