Alright, folks, buckle up because the Clown World Express is making another stop in Memphis, Tennessee. This time, it involves a dude named Jerry L. Stark, a baby, and a whole lotta crazy. Apparently, Jerry decided to have a little snack on an infant (allegedly!), all while claiming his family was plotting his demise. You can't make this stuff up.

The saga unfolded like a scene from a bad comedy. Jerry was reportedly seen sprinting through various establishments, including gas stations and a Memphis Wings restaurant, with the aforementioned infant in tow. He was yelling, panicking, and generally acting like someone who’d just chugged a gallon of Monster Energy drink laced with bath salts. Witnesses say he was shouting that his family was trying to off him. Maybe they were just tired of his antics?

Inside the Memphis Wings, things escalated. Jerry decided to take a nap on the kitchen floor with the baby (great parenting!), still screaming for help. Witnesses say the baby was being squeezed and turning blue. Then, the pièce de résistance: the alleged baby-biting incident. Seriously, what is happening to this country?

Now, the Mainstream Media (MSM) will probably spin this as a mental health crisis or some sort of societal failing. And maybe there's a kernel of truth there. But let's be honest, sometimes people just go full-blown bonkers. And when they do, it’s usually captured on someone’s phone and ends up on social media for our collective amusement and horror.

Some heroes intervened, wrestled the baby away from Jerry, and held the door shut to prevent his escape. A video posted online shows Jerry looking like a deer caught in headlights while people threaten him if he tries to bolt. The poster of the video was traumatized by the baby's face. Can't say I blame them.

The baby is now in the hospital with a facial injury. Mom says Jerry pushed her out of a moving car earlier that night, which adds another layer of WTF to this already insane story.

So, what's the takeaway? Stay strapped, folks. And maybe avoid eating wings in Memphis for a while. This whole situation is a reminder that things are getting weirder by the day. Is this the end times? Probably not. But it's definitely a good reason to stock up on ammo and learn how to say “hold my beer” in Russian.