Oh, honey, grab your tinfoil hats, because the globalists are at it again. Now they're screeching about a measles outbreak, blaming it on...you guessed it...anti-vaxxers! Apparently, trusting the science™ now means getting the mumps. Who knew?

So, the WHO (World Health Organization, or as I like to call them, the World Hypochondria Organization) is wringing its hands because places like the UK, Spain, and even Uzbekistan (where's that even at?) lost their “measles elimination status.” Sounds scary, right? But hold your horses. Elimination status just means the measles is still circulating. Like, duh. Viruses gonna virus, snowflakes gonna snowflake.

Apparently, only 84% of rugrats in the UK got their MMR jab. Gasp! How dare parents exercise their God-given right to decide what gets injected into their kids? Wake up sheeple! Big Pharma is laughing all the way to the bank.

And who’s the boogeyman this time? Why, it's everyone's favorite punching bag, Robert F. Kennedy Jr., now the US Health Secretary (lol, the libs are seething). He's apparently spreading dangerous misinformation by…checks notes…questioning the narrative. Oh, the horror!

These same geniuses are crying about Trump defunding the Global Measles and Rubella Laboratory Network (GMRLNN). Yeah, because sending billions of taxpayer dollars to unelected global bureaucrats is totally the fiscally responsible thing to do. Gimme a break.

Canada and Mexico are supposedly at risk, too. Border control is a myth, apparently, if measles can just waltz right over. But hey, let's blame the parents who dare to think for themselves instead of the open border policies that let diseases flow freely.

Look, nobody wants kids getting sick, but let's not pretend this is some unprecedented apocalypse. Measles has been around since, like, forever. Maybe, just maybe, we should focus on building strong immune systems with sunshine, fresh air, and actual healthy food instead of relying solely on magic juice from corporations that have zero accountability.

Remember that study in 1998 by Andrew Wakefield that the establishment hates? Food for thought...

Don't let the fearmongering get to you. Do your own research. Trust your gut. And for the love of God, stop believing everything you read on the internet…except for this, of course.