So, apparently, someone finally decided to uncork the Ayatollah's prune juice. Word on the street is that the U.S. and Israel just yeeted some freedom missiles at Iran's top dogs, including Grandpa Khamenei himself and that Pezeshkian dude. Iranian state media is cope-posting harder than a soyboy at a steakhouse, claiming everyone's fine and dandy, but let's be real – something's cooking.

Now, the big question: if Khamenei kicks the bucket (or gets moved to a farm upstate), who inherits the gulag? Analysts are saying the IRGC is the real power broker, and if they stay unified, expect a security state on steroids. Translation: more oppression, less avocado toast.

Then you've got Reza Pahlavi, the Shah's son, who's been LARPing as a freedom fighter from exile for decades. He's calling the strikes a "humanitarian intervention" – which is rich coming from a guy who hasn't set foot in Iran since bell-bottoms were cool. He's telling everyone to hit the streets, but let's be honest, his support inside Iran is about as solid as Biden's approval rating.

And don't forget Maryam Rajavi and her NCRI crew. They've got a ten-point plan for a democratic republic, which sounds great until you realize they're basically an Iranian version of the Branch Davidians. Organized? Sure. Batshit crazy? Probably.

Bottom line: Iran's about to get a whole lot more interesting. Will the IRGC consolidate power? Will Pahlavi pull off a miracle? Will Rajavi unleash her army of Stepford wives? Grab some popcorn, because this is gonna be epic.

It's gonna be a real 'hold my chai' moment. One thing is for sure: the globalists are malding. The normies are confused. And the chads are ready to post memes about the Ayatollah getting fragged. Let's go!

Sources:

* Central Intelligence Agency (CIA) World Factbook * RAND Corporation * United States Institute of Peace * Defense Intelligence Agency (DIA)