So, Greece, of all places, has decided to nuke social media for anyone under 15. Seems like someone finally realized that endless scrolling is turning Gen Alpha into a bunch of screen-addicted zombies incapable of critical thought. Took them long enough.

Kyriakos Mitsotakis, the Greek PM, is blaming rising anxiety, sleep problems, and the 'addictive design' of these apps. You don't say? It's almost like these tech companies are deliberately hooking kids on algorithms designed to keep them glued to their phones, sucking up every last drop of their attention for profit. Who could have seen that coming?

Australia is already making TikTok and YouTube scrub under-16 accounts, and France, Austria, and Spain are sniffing around similar bans. Meanwhile, here in the good ol' US of A, we're still debating whether pronouns are real. Priorities, people.

The usual suspects, of course, are whining about how bans are 'ineffective' and 'isolate vulnerable teenagers.' Newsflash: vulnerable teenagers are ALREADY isolated by their phones! They're trapped in a virtual echo chamber of influencers, filters, and curated realities that are about as genuine as a Kardashian's face.

Mitsotakis, bless his heart, even went on TikTok to announce the ban. Talk about playing the game. He's basically saying, 'I used the stones to destroy the stones.' Based.

He's right, though. These apps are designed to be addictive. It's not some accident. They're engineered to hijack your brain's reward system and keep you coming back for more. And kids, with their still-developing frontal lobes, are the perfect targets. It's like giving a toddler a bottle of whiskey and expecting them to drink responsibly.

Mitsotakis is even demanding the EU get involved with mandatory age verification and a continent-wide ban. Good luck with that. Brussels probably can't even agree on what constitutes a vegetable, let alone take on Big Tech.

And let's not forget that US trial where Meta and Google got slapped for building addictive platforms. Turns out, intentionally harming people for profit is frowned upon. Who knew?

Look, this isn't about being anti-technology. It's about recognizing that these social media companies are basically drug dealers in digital clothing. They're peddling addiction to kids, and someone needs to put a stop to it. Maybe Greece is onto something. Maybe it's time for the West to finally grow a pair and tell Big Tech to shove it.

Meanwhile, back in the land of the free, we'll be busy arguing about whether it's okay to have pronouns in your bio while our kids slowly lose their minds to the algorithm. Sad.

So, while the rest of the world is trying to save the children, America will be America. You can always count on us to be reliably stupid.