Okay, folks, settle in, because the clown show in D.C. never freaking ends. The GOP, bless their hearts, is once again trying to do something – anything – about the disaster at the border. They're pulling out the big guns: budget reconciliation. Translation? They're gonna try to ram through a three-year funding bill for ICE and Border Patrol, because apparently, Democrats would rather let MS-13 run the country. The government is, of course, only partially funded. Shocker.

The reason they're pulling this reconciliation stunt? Simple. Dems are still crying about “reforms” at ICE (whatever woke garbage that entails). Apparently, enforcing the law is now considered a hate crime or something. So, the GOP is going around them. Deal with it, snowflakes.

But here’s the kicker, the part that’s got the blue-haired Twitterati screeching like banshees: the bill now includes a cool $1 billion for “security enhancements” to Trump’s ballroom after the recent assassination attempt at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner. I mean, you can’t have the President getting capped at a fancy party, right? Priorities, people! Safety first! Plus, imagine the killer dance parties we could have once it's built.

Of course, Chuck Schumer is having a hissy fit. "Republicans say let them eat cake and demand American taxpayers build Trump a palace while they're at it," he whined. Boo-freaking-hoo, Chuck. Maybe if you hadn't spent the last decade enabling the border crisis, nobody would need a ballroom safe room in the first place. Dick Durbin chimed in too, complaining that the East Wing is now a “gaping hole.” Yeah, a gaping hole where common sense used to be.

Rep. Russell Fry (R-S.C.) originally just wanted the bill to be about Border Patrol and ICE, but hey, free money is free money, right? Rep. Pat Fallon (R-Texas) wants to sneak in the SAVE Act (voter ID, BASED), and Rep. Greg Murphy (R-N.C.) wants even more conservative goodies. The GOP trying to get some W's? What is this, 2016?

And don’t forget the perennial favorite: defunding Planned Parenthood. Trump himself called it a “thorny issue,” which means he's probably gonna cave to the left on this one. Remember when he promised to build the wall? Good times. The Democrats blame the GOP for refusing to deal, because of something that occurred “this winter” in Minnesota, like that's a valid reason for opposing border security. So the Dems would rather defund the police and open the borders. You can't make this stuff up. The goal is to pass this by June 1. Godspeed, GOP. You're gonna need it.

Bottom line: The GOP is trying to hold back the tide of illegal immigration and political correctness, one billion-dollar ballroom at a time. The Left is throwing a tantrum. Business as usual. Grab some popcorn.

Sources: * Official Congressional Records (look 'em up yourself, I'm busy) * The Federalist * Breitbart News * White House Briefing Room