APAM, Ghana – So, apparently, there's this tree in Ghana. A tree. Not a non-binary, intersectional tree demanding pronouns, but a good ol' fashioned Piliostigma thonningii. This thing, called Santseo (probably offensive to someone, somewhere), was supposedly planted way back in the 13th century. Thirteen-freaking-hundred! That's before the invention of participation trophies, before safe spaces, and definitely before anyone thought it was a good idea to put pronouns in their email signature.

This tree belongs to, like, a family. Remember those? The nuclear kind? With, like, a mom and a dad? Yeah, apparently they still exist in Ghana. These folks are so old-school, they trace their lineage back to some royal lady named Komfo Nana Asumbia. She was, like, a leader. Not a social justice warrior, but an actual leader who led people. Crazy, right?

The libs are gonna hate this. This tree is basically a giant middle finger to everything they stand for. It's old. It's traditional. It's tied to a family. And it's in Ghana, which, last time I checked, isn't exactly on the cutting edge of woke ideology. This is exactly the kinda tree that would be cancelled by Twitter.

So, here's the deal. The family says Nana Asumbia planted this thing, and if it grew, it meant they should settle there. Smart lady. No need for expensive consultants or focus groups. Just plant a tree and see what happens. Today the location has Fort Patience, which held enslaved people, and a church, which, well, you know. Still, the tree keeps standing.

And get this: the tree is actually useful. It provides shade and has medicinal properties. Unlike, say, a gender studies degree. This is the kind of tree that pulls itself up by its bootstraps and contributes to society. A true capitalist tree. It's literally a tree of life. A lib triggering tree of life.

Mark Wilberforce Apam (great name, by the way) is apparently the tree's caretaker. Good on him. He's probably considered a white supremacist by the woke crowd just for existing and preserving his family's history. But he does it anyway, because some things are more important than virtue signaling on social media.

So, next time you're feeling triggered by the latest woke outrage, just remember Santseo the tree. Remember that there are still places in the world where tradition and family values matter. And remember that even a tree can be more based than half the people on Twitter. This is a good tree. Liberals HATE it.

Maybe we should all plant a tree. A big, strong, tradition-loving, lib-triggering tree. It would be based. Very based.