Alright, folks, gather 'round the digital campfire, because we've got another steaming pile of government malfeasance to dissect. This time, it's the FDA, those paragons of virtue and scientific rigor, who are in the crosshairs. Apparently, they've been playing peek-a-boo with some very inconvenient studies that dared to suggest the COVID and shingles vaccines are, wait for it… safe!

Yeah, you heard that right. According to some Deep State HHS mouthpiece, the FDA canned multiple studies that used taxpayer money to prove what we already knew (or should have known): that the shots are generally harmless. But fear not, loyal citizens, because the FDA, in its infinite wisdom, decided these studies drew “broad conclusions that were not supported by the underlying data.” Translation: they didn't like the results, so they spiked 'em.

Remember when they told us these vaccines were 100% effective? Yeah, that aged like milk left out in the sun. Now they're hiding data that says they're at least not actively killing us. Progress!

One study, bless its heart, looked at 7.5 million Medicare beneficiaries and found that only one in a million Pfizer recipients had a bad reaction. One in a million! That's practically homeopathy. But the FDA said, “Nope, can’t release that. Might make people too confident in our overlords.” Another study, involving a mere 4.2 million guinea pigs, found only rare cases of seizures and heart inflammation. Peanuts! But still, too much safety for the FDA's liking.

As Dorit Reiss, a law professor who clearly hasn't drunk the Kool-Aid, put it, “The fact that in one case these were accepted by a journal and that they are open about not liking the conclusion makes it more jarring.” Jarring indeed! It's almost like they have an agenda. Almost.

And let's not forget the shingles vaccine studies that conveniently missed their deadline. Because, you know, paperwork is really important when you're trying to suppress inconvenient truths. A senior administration official even admitted the studies weren't moving forward. Shocking!

Janet Woodcock, a former FDA bigwig, hinted at a “pattern here for not letting information out that might support the general safety of vaccines.” You don't say? It's almost as if these agencies are more interested in protecting Big Pharma's bottom line than, say, public health. Call me crazy.