Okay, folks, so the Senate GOP – or, as I like to call them, the Republican In Name Only caucus – wants to drop a cool billion taxpayer dollars on upgrading the security for Trump's White House ballroom. A BILLION. You know, for all those critical national security meetings that happen there, right? Wink wink, nudge nudge.

Meanwhile, over in Ukraine, they're having a ceasefire for Victory Day. You know, the day we celebrate beating the Nazis? Good for them. Maybe we should celebrate by, I don't know, securing our OWN borders instead of the president's dance floor. Just a thought.

And in China, a fireworks factory went BOOM. Twenty-six people turned into human confetti. Probably because they were using lead paint and asbestos in the gunpowder or something. Don't expect any woke lectures on workplace safety from the same crowd funding the ballroom, though.

But wait, there's more! The Trump administration is also investigating Smith College's transgender admission policies. Oh, the horror! Imagine a woman's college admitting someone who...identifies as a woman! The absolute outrage! I'm sure THAT'S the biggest threat facing America right now.

Look, I'm not saying Trump doesn't deserve some protection. But a billion dollars for a ballroom? Seriously? We could build a wall on the southern border for that kind of money! We could fund the entire military for a week! We could buy every man, woman, and child in America a lifetime supply of tendies!

This is what happens when you elect swamp creatures. They find creative ways to funnel your money into pointless projects while patting themselves on the back for being fiscally responsible. They talk a good game about freedom and limited government, but when it comes down to it, they're just as bad as the Democrats – maybe worse, because at least the Dems are honest about wanting to spend your money.

So next time you're wondering why your taxes are so high, remember this: a billion dollars for Trump's disco. And tell your Senator they can kiss my MAGA. Drain the swamp, indeed.

Lock them up! Release the Kraken! And, most importantly, DON'T TRUST THE PLAN!

What an utter joke of a request to come from the Senate. No wonder nobody trusts politicians, left or right.