Deranged Activists Lose Their Minds Over Trump’s $14.8M Reflecting Pool Makeover
From writing in their own blood to slashing pool liners with razor blades, left-wing protesters are having an absolute meltdown in Washington.
The political class in Washington is currently dealing with a severe outbreak of monument-mutilation syndrome. This summer, the National Mall has become a playground for some of the most bizarre and destructive protests in recent memory. According to the Department of the Interior, federal authorities are scrambling to contain a coordinated campaign of public sabotage. Activists have targeted everything from the newly restored Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool to the Washington Monument, demonstrating that there are truly no limits to how far some people will go to make a point.
The main theater of this absurdity is the Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool, which recently underwent a flashy $14.8 million restoration and repainting ordered by President Donald Trump. Apparently, a fresh coat of paint on a public pool was enough to trigger a full-scale meltdown. On the very day the pool reopened to the public, vandals bypassed the security barriers, ripped down the protective fencing, threw it into the water, and used sharp tools to leave "razor-blade-like slashes" spanning over 300 feet along the pool's brand-new liner.
At first, the feds tried to play it cool. The first incident of pool-slashing went down on June 9, but the Department of the Interior decided to keep it under wraps, hoping to avoid inspiring copycats. Interior Department communication director Katie Martin explained the failed media blackout: "At the time of the June 9 incident, the vandalism was under investigation and believed to be isolated. So as not to encourage deranged individuals, we did not announce what we hoped to be an isolated incident." Unfortunately for the feds, the internet had other plans. Within days, viral videos began circulating online showing people actively ripping at the pool's protective coating, turning the vandalism into a hot trend.
But the pool-slashing was just the warm-up act. Activists have also been busy marking the Mall with the numerical sequence "8647." Earlier this month, someone literally etched a giant "8647" directly into the grass of the National Mall, triggering an immediate federal investigation. The administration has interpreted the code as a direct political threat, noting that "86" is restaurant slang for throwing something out or refusing service, while "47" refers to Trump as the 47th president.
If you thought etching numbers in the grass was weird, the Washington Monument incident takes the cake. According to a United States Park Police report, some absolute legend of political sanity decided to write "I've come" on the monument's stone facade using their own actual blood. Add in the fact that vandals have also been cutting fuel lines around the Great American State Fair, and you have a summer of peak political activism. The feds have even arrested US Olympian David Hearn in connection with the Reflecting Pool vandalism, though he has denied any involvement after the arrest video went viral.
Meanwhile, the mainstream media has reacted in the most predictable way possible: by running defense for the vandals. Instead of focusing on the literal criminal destruction of a national landmark, outlets like CNN and ABC sent reporters to take water samples, obsessing over algae and peeling paint. Over on daytime TV, Whoopi Goldberg mocked the $14.8 million project, acting as though the natural appearance of algae somehow justifies individuals slicing up a public liner with razor blades.
This hilarious media coping mechanism did not go unnoticed. On Fox News's "The Five," hosts roasted the mainstream media's desperate pivot to water quality. The panel pointed out the absurdity of reporters acting like amateur scientists to highlight paint peeling while ignoring the actual crime scene right in front of them. It seems that for the media, a little algae is a far bigger story than a coordinated campaign of political sabotage. As the feds remain on high alert, we can only wait to see what the activists decide to write in their own bodily fluids next.
