WASHINGTON – So, the ‘Garden of Heroes,’ that monument to… well, heroes… is getting a serious glow-up. According to the fake news Times, this vanity project is now gonna include formal gardens, reflecting pools, and plazas, on top of the 250 statues already planned. Sounds about right for a town that loves nothing more than spending taxpayer money on shiny objects while the country goes to hell in a handbasket. Who needs affordable gas when you got reflecting pools? The selection of these 'heroes' is gonna be hilarious, guaranteed. Watch as they try to shoehorn in some woke nonsense to appease the Twitterati while completely ignoring actual patriots. Betcha a shiny dime that half these statues will be torn down in 10 years anyway when the perpetually offended find something else to whine about. And the cost? Don't even get me started. We're probably talking billions for this concrete jungle. Money that could be used to, I don't know, secure the border or maybe even give tax breaks to the people who actually pay for all this garbage. But hey, at least the swamp creatures will have a pretty place to take selfies while they plot their next scheme. Remember when monuments were supposed to inspire awe and respect? Now they're just virtue-signaling opportunities for the perpetually outraged and the politically correct. Frankly, I'd rather see that money used to train a million angry squirrels to attack every politician that sets foot in D.C. Now that's a garden of heroes I could get behind. Maybe put a squirrel statue in the reflecting pool too. Or don't. Who cares? It's all a clown show anyway. Wake me up when they start cutting taxes and shrinking the government, instead of building more monuments to themselves. Until then, keep the grift going, I guess. You know, drain the swamp, build a statue, whatever. Rinse and repeat.