DETROIT, MI – Cory Booker, the guy who once admitted loving Donald Trump (awkward!), just gave a speech at the Michigan Democratic Convention that was, let's just say, intense. The dude was practically levitating, channeling his inner preacher and asking Michigan Dems to become his 'foot soldiers' in the ongoing culture war. 2028, here we come (maybe?).

Booker, along with Kamala 'Border Czar' Harris and some random Kentucky governor, showed up to remind Michigan that Democrats exist. All three are, supposedly, thinking about running for president in 2028, which should be entertaining. Buckle up, buttercups.

For 25 glorious minutes, Booker wailed about 'darkness and wind' sweeping the nation. Seriously, dude needs to chill with the weather metaphors. Are we fighting Mordor now? Anyway, he wants YOU to be a 'foot soldier' in this epic battle. Free t-shirt not included, probably.

"Ladies and gentlemen, there is a storm in our nation!" Booker screamed. "There is darkness and wind! People are getting hurt! What we need is not from on high! We need foot soldiers of our democracy who in times of trial, are willing to stand up!" Sounds like a job for...the Avengers? Or maybe just some unpaid interns.

He also wants Democrats to 'redeem the dream of America,' which is code for 'vote blue no matter who,' even if that 'who' is someone you disagree with on, like, everything. Because, you know, unity.

Booker then whined about people who didn't vote for Hillary or Kamala because they disagreed with them on 'ten percent' of their views. “You let somebody get in office who you disagree with on everything!” he yelled. Uh, yeah, that's how voting works, Cory. It's called choice. Ever heard of it?

He also claimed the evil Republicans are 'locking up our children' and 'taking away our healthcare.' Classic fear-mongering. But hey, gotta motivate those 'foot soldiers' somehow, right?

And the pièce de résistance? Booker wants Michigan Dems to turn the 'Michigan hand' into a 'Michigan fist.' Because subtlety is for losers. He literally said, "I want you to punch a hole in the wall of resistance!" So, violence is okay now? Asking for a friend.

So there you have it. Cory Booker, channeling his inner Martin Luther King Jr. (sort of), and begging for an army of 'foot soldiers' to help him...do something. Run for president? Save the world? We're not entirely sure. But one thing's for certain: 2028 is going to be a wild ride. Grab your popcorn.

This is going to be good. Or, at the very least, very, very meme-able.