Artemis II: Moon Swingby, Apollo Record Smashed, Eclipse Seen – Still No Gas Under $5?
Space nerds rejoice as Artemis II buzzes the moon and breaks records, but what about the *real* problems, like inflation and woke M&Ms?

April 7, 2026 – Okay, fine, Artemis II swung by the moon. Big deal. It even broke some dusty old Apollo record. And…saw an eclipse? Cool story, NASA. Meanwhile, back on Earth, the grocery bill is still astronomical and they’re still trying to cancel Mr. Potato Head. Priorities, people!
So, we blew billions on this Artemis thing, huh? Gotta keep up with China, I guess. But are we really winning the space race when we’re losing the culture war? Last I checked, the woke left isn't planting flags on the moon, they're busy tearing down statues of dead white guys.
This lunar swingby…is that like parallel parking in space? Sounds complicated. Probably requires a whole team of highly paid “experts” and a ton of taxpayer money. I bet they even have diversity quotas for the astronauts. Gotta make sure everyone’s feeling included while hurtling through the vacuum of space.
An Apollo record? They broke another Apollo record? Reminds me of when they said we'd never have to pump our own gas again. How'd that work out? Seriously, didn't we do this moon thing like 50 years ago? What's next, discovering fire? Are we sure this isn't just virtue signaling with rockets?
Ooh, an eclipse. Spooky. Guess that means we're due for another government shutdown or a celebrity divorce. Or both. At least the eclipse didn't try to lecture us about our carbon footprint.
I’m not saying space exploration is bad. I’m just saying, maybe we should fix the economy and secure the border before we start building moon bases. And for God’s sake, can we get some real leadership that isn’t afraid to call out the woke mob?
They’re monitoring the mission closely, huh? I bet. Probably making sure no one says anything politically incorrect on the livestream. Can’t offend anyone, even when you're in orbit around the damn moon.
Human presence on the moon? Great. More places for the globalists to plot their nefarious schemes. I bet they'll try to impose ESG scores on lunar colonies. Can't escape the madness.
Look, I’m all for science and innovation. But let’s get real. Space exploration is cool and all, but it’s not going to solve our problems here on Earth. We need strong borders, a booming economy, and a return to traditional values. That's what will make America great again, not a moon rock collection.
Billions of dollars spent, but can I afford a steak? Checkmate, libs.
So, congrats to NASA for their little moon joyride. Now, can we focus on getting this country back on track? Time to drain the swamp, reclaim our culture, and maybe…just maybe…get gas under $5 again. Because if the libtards get their way we will all be riding to work in an electric golf cart while eating bugs.
Artemis II? More like Art-of-misdirection. Wake up, sheeple! Time to fight for our country and our values. No more woke nonsense, no more government overreach, and definitely no more talking M&Ms.


