So, the globalists are crying about overfishing in Southeast Asia? Shocking. Turns out when you let the ChiComs do whatever they want, the fish start disappearing faster than Hunter Biden's emails. Who could have predicted that? The Center for Strategic and International Studies – probably funded by Soros, let's be real – says that 70-95% of fish stocks have been depleted since the 1950s. Sounds like a job for the Deep State!

And get this: half the world's fish comes from Southeast Asia, says the UN, another bastion of woke virtue signaling. And the U.S. imports like, $6.3 billion worth of seafood from those commie countries? Sounds about right. We prop up these dictatorships with our consumerism while lecturing them about pronouns. Galaxy brain move.

But wait, there's more! The International Freedom Fund – suspiciously named – and Thailand's Labour Protection Network – bet they love unions – are whining about "sea slavery" and "debt bondage." Okay, sure, maybe there are some bad apples. But these are fishermen, not Rhodes scholars. Cut 'em some slack! They're just trying to make a living in a world where gas prices are through the roof and the woke mob is coming for your steak.

Then there's the whole China thing. They're building islands in the South China Sea, militarizing their fishing fleets, and generally being a bunch of dicks. But hey, at least they're not apologizing for America! Maybe we should send Tucker Carlson over there to teach them a thing or two about patriotism. He could teach the sharks some manners, too, while he's at it.

Oh, and let's not forget the poor Urak Lawoi tribe on Koh Lipe in Thailand. "Fish were in abundance before," whines Mimit Hantele, 53. "But now, the fishing season is a lot shorter…" Boo hoo. Get a job, Mimit! Learn to code! Nobody owes you a living just because your ancestors were sea gypsies. It's called capitalism, sweetie. Look it up.

Tanjung Luar, Indonesia, is a shark killing field? So what? Sharks are terrifying killing machines. Good riddance. And their fins are going to China for…cosmetics? Well, at least someone's getting some use out of them. Better than letting them rot in the ocean.

So, what's the solution? Simple: drill, baby, drill! Unleash American energy! Decouple from China! Secure the border! Make the oceans great again! And stop listening to these whiny liberals who want to turn us all into vegan soyboys!