So, another day, another body in the Windy City. This time it's some 25-year-old model, Alexander Kazanowski – or “Xander” as the normies called him – who got bludgeoned to death outside a bar in Avondale. Apparently, he was “asked to leave” the bar earlier. What did he do, mansplain feminism to a group of sorority pledges? Probably.

The Chicago PD is now hot on the trail of four “persons of interest” – three black dudes and an Asian chick. No further details, of course. But don’t you dare jump to conclusions, bigot! I mean, what’s the over/under on this getting memory-holed harder than a Hunter Biden laptop?

Look, I'm not saying Chicago is turning into Gotham, but the vibes are…off. Remember when they told us defunding the police would lead to a utopian paradise of social justice? Turns out, less cops equals more crime. Who could have predicted that?

And let’s be real, this isn't just about some random bar fight gone wrong. This is about a city run by woke politicians who are more interested in virtue signaling than keeping the streets safe. It's about a culture that glorifies victimhood and refuses to hold people accountable for their actions.

But hey, at least he was an organ donor. So, you know, virtue signaling even in death. Maybe one of the organs will end up in a progressive activist who will use their newfound health to…protest capitalism or something.

The Cook County Crime Stoppers is offering a whopping $10,000 reward. That’ll surely bring the perps to justice. Maybe they can use the money to buy some gender studies textbooks.

Meanwhile, the libs will be wringing their hands and talking about “systemic issues” and “root causes.” But let's be honest: the root cause is a lack of personal responsibility and a culture that rewards bad behavior.

Time to build that bunker in Montana, folks. This clown show is just getting started.