So, get this: some genius in the ivory tower decided the only thing standing between autists and Michelin stars is... a 'program.' Yeah, because autistic folks haven't faced enough condescending 'help' already. Now they're gonna be grating Parmesan while the libs pat themselves on the back for 'inclusion.'

Look, I'm not saying people on the spectrum can't cook. Some probably have the obsessive focus needed to make a perfect hollandaise. But let's be real: this isn't about helping anyone. It's about virtue signaling. It's about ESG scores. It's about woke capital patting itself on the back while charging $30 for a plate of organic, locally-sourced whatever.

This whole thing screams 'performative allyship.' You know, the kind where corporations slap a rainbow on their logo for Pride Month and then donate to anti-LGBTQ+ politicians the rest of the year. Suddenly, every fine-dining restaurant is gonna be clamoring for autistic line cooks? Pull the other one. I bet half these places haven't even heard of Asperger's Syndrome, let alone know how to accommodate it.

And let's talk about the inevitable 'sensitivity training' for the 'neurotypical' staff. Because nothing builds camaraderie like mandatory lectures on how not to 'trigger' your co-worker. Just imagine the HR nightmares. Someone says the wrong thing, BOOM, lawsuit. The only thing being served here is a steaming pile of leftist nonsense.

I'm not saying people with autism shouldn't have jobs. I'm saying this program is a joke. It's a feel-good solution to a complex problem that probably won't actually help anyone in the long run. It's the kind of thing that makes normal people roll their eyes and say, 'Here we go again.'

The only way this works is if the autists themselves are like, 'Yeah, I wanna be a chef.' And if they're good at it. Not if some do-gooder program is pushing them into it to make a point. Give me a break. The free market will sort it out, as always.

Next thing you know, they'll be forcing diversity quotas on surgeons. 'We need more neurodiverse brain surgeons!' Yeah, that'll end well. Pass the bleach.

Bet money they'll be asking for reparations next.

Sources: * U.S. Department of Labor, Office of Disability Employment Policy * National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) * Autism Speaks