WELLINGTON, New Zealand – So, the 2026 Ockham New Zealand book awards happened. Yawn. And guess what? Ingrid Horrocks, some chick we've never heard of until five minutes ago, snagged the Jann Medlicott Acorn prize for her short story collection, All Her Lives. The prize? A cool NZ$65,000 – taxpayer money, BTW. Nice gig if you can get it.

All Her Lives, apparently, is about nine different women doing nine different womanly things. Politics, gender, motherhood... you know, the usual woke buzzwords. It's only the fifth time a short story collection has won in 58 years. Probably because short stories are for people with the attention span of a goldfish, and novels are for… well, people who actually want to read something substantial. But hey, who needs substance when you can virtue signal?

According to the propaganda, the book spans from rural New Zealand after World War I to Berlin and the 1981 Springbok tour protests. Because nothing says 'relatable' like historical oppression and sporting events. Oh, and Mary Wollstonecraft makes an appearance. Because you can't have a feminist narrative without trotting out the same tired historical figures. It's like they're running on a pre-programmed algorithm.

Fiction judge Craig Cliff called the collection “crisp, clear and unencumbered.” Which is code for “I didn’t understand it, but I’m supposed to like it.” International guest judge Leslie Hurtig “loved the range of women’s experiences represented.” Translation: “I ticked all the diversity boxes.”

Horrocks herself was “stunned and shocked.” We're shocked she's shocked. Did she not know the fix was in? Of course, she hopes more people will read her book. We hope people will stop funding this drivel.

And let's not forget Jacinda Ardern winning an award for her memoir. Because giving a platform to a failed politician is exactly what New Zealand needs right now. It's all one big circle-jerk of mediocrity.

So, congrats to Ingrid Horrocks, we guess. Enjoy your blood money. But don't expect us to read your book. We're too busy trying to save Western civilization from the onslaught of woke nonsense.

This whole thing just proves that the elites are out of touch and don't care about what real people want to read. It's all about pushing an agenda. All Her Lives? More like All Our Taxes, Wasted.