Bruce Springsteen, America's favorite blue-collar billionaire, is back to tell you how to think with his new 'Power to the People' festival. Mark your calendars, comrade, because October 3rd at Merriweather Post Pavilion in Maryland is gonna be lit… if your definition of lit is virtue signaling to a bunch of trust fund kids.

The theme? You guessed it: "freedom, justice, equality and rock 'n' roll." Translation: performative wokeness sprinkled with enough guitar riffs to make you forget he's probably lecturing you about your carbon footprint while flying in a private jet. A portion of the proceeds will go to VoteRiders and HeadCount, because what's a good social justice rally without a little help from the voter registration industrial complex?

VoteRiders is all about getting those pesky voter ID laws tossed out the window. You know, the ones that require you to prove you are who you say you are when you vote? Totally racist, bro. They help people get the 'necessary' documentation. It's like, maybe just bring your driver's license, but whatever, Daddy Warbucks Springsteen will foot the bill.

HeadCount registers voters at concerts, because apparently, music fans are too busy headbanging to remember to register themselves. Probably just trying to get the youth vote energized enough to ignore the fact that the economy is in the toilet and the only jobs available are delivering Grubhub on a scooter.

Let's be real, Springsteen hasn't been remotely relatable since Born in the USA came out, and even that was misinterpreted. Now he's just another millionaire lecturing the rest of us about our privilege. I'm sure the irony of a multi-millionaire singing about the working class isn't lost on anyone… except maybe the people who buy his albums.

Expect plenty of virtue signaling, performative activism, and maybe even a celebrity sighting or two. It's basically a woke Coachella for people who peaked in the 80s. Remember when rock and roll was about rebellion, not regurgitating corporate-approved talking points?

This whole thing smells like a cynical attempt to stay relevant by pandering to the perpetually outraged. So if you're into being preached at by a guy who lives in a gated community while pretending to care about the plight of the common man, then saddle up and head to Maryland. Just don't forget your participation trophy and safe space.

Honestly, I'd rather listen to Nickelback. At least they're not pretending to be anything they're not.