Berlin – So, this whale, right? “Timmy.” Cute name. Gets stuck in the Baltic. Cue the eco-warriors and virtue-signaling elites. Next thing you know, we're throwing €1.5 million at a 'rescue' operation that makes the Fyre Festival look like a well-oiled machine. And guess what? Tracker malfunctions. Whale goes MIA. Surprise, surprise.

This whole thing is a masterclass in how not to do environmentalism. Some rich horse lady, Karin Walter-Mommert, decides to play Noah with her spare Euros. The Mecklenburg-Western Pomerania ministry, ever eager to look woke, gives the thumbs-up despite actual scientists saying, 'Hey, this might kill the whale.' But who listens to science when there's a chance to virtue signal?

Of course, the tracker, which was supposed to be like a Fitbit for whales, crapped out. Because why would anything work as advertised? And now, nobody knows where Timmy is. Probably floating belly-up somewhere, thanks to the geniuses who thought dragging him around on a barge was a good idea.

The German Oceanographic Museum called it animal cruelty from the jump. They knew this was a disaster waiting to happen. But hey, at least someone got some good PR photos out of it, right? Until the tracker malfunctioned. Then the calls for government transparency were raised, as if the government is ever going to be transparent about anything.

Danish marine biologist Peter Madsen is calling out the secrecy surrounding the whole thing. Says the data's being guarded by a small group. Sounds about right. Probably trying to cover their tracks (pun intended) before the whole thing blows up in their faces.

The Danes, meanwhile, are like, 'Yeah, if we find him, we're letting nature take its course.' Based. They get it. Sometimes, you just gotta let things be. But no, we had to spend a fortune to potentially kill a whale and make everyone look like idiots. Just another example of the elites who claim to know best, only to fail spectacularly while wasting everyone's money in the process. It's always the same. This is why no one trusts the experts anymore.

What's next? A GoFundMe to 'find Timmy' and line the pockets of more grifters? I wouldn't be surprised. This is the world we live in now. Woke is broke, and whales are collateral damage. The only winner here is the woke mob. They got to virtue signal while the tax payers footed the bill.