You absolutely cannot make this stuff up. The United Kingdom has officially devolved into a complete political circus. Keir Starmer has packed his bags and fled Downing Street, making him our seventh prime minister in twelve and a half years. Remember when we used to laugh at Italy for swapping leaders like dirty laundry? Well, the joke is on us. Back in 2014, we had only seen four PMs in the previous twenty-three years. Now, we’ve burned through four in just four years. The ex-PM lineup at the Cenotaph is going to look like a crowded bus terminal soon, and in ten years, literally nobody is going to remember who Liz Truss even was.

Starmer’s exit was the ultimate awkward exit. He wasn't even kicked out by a lost election or a strong right-wing opposition. No, he decided to bounce because Labour actually won a by-election. The logistics of the speech were pure comedy. Normally, the press gets a cozy thirty-minute heads-up to set up their cameras after the lectern is dragged out onto Downing Street. This time, Starmer dashed out the door the literal second the lectern hit the pavement. He looked incredibly bashful, practically sprinting through his speech just to get it over with before anyone noticed he was leaving.

This was a major contrast to Boris Johnson’s epic exit, where Boris accepted zero blame, threw everyone else under the bus, and told the country we'd all regret losing him. Say what you want about Boris, but at least he didn't do a quiet hit-and-run on the microphone. Now, the media is already licking its chops waiting to destroy Andy Burnham. Voters are so impatient these days that Burnham will probably get about two weeks before some TV talking head starts screaming at him to resign.

Meanwhile, the absolute state of international football isn't much better. We're all supposed to be caught up in World Cup fever, and sure, watching Jude Bellingham score against Croatia while Harry Kane celebrates is great. But the corporate suits are completely ruining the beautiful game. FIFA’s supreme leader Gianni Infantino is too busy sucking up to Donald Trump and charging mortgage-level ticket prices to care about actual fans.

And don't get me started on the ridiculous 'hydration breaks.' It’s the ultimate corporate cash-grab. They completely ruin the momentum of the match, turning it into a four-quarter game just so TV networks can shove more ads down our throats. ITV is trying to play the hero by not running ads during the breaks right now, but let's be real—they'll sell out and start showing ads in four years' time anyway. Whether it’s politics or football, the clowns are running the show.