Okay, so apparently, London schools are now handing out VR headsets like candy to help kids deal with...checks notes... 'stress.' Yeah, that's right. Stress. Back in my day, stress was called 'life,' and you dealt with it by, you know, dealing with it. No participation trophies, no safe spaces, just grit and maybe a swift kick in the pants from dad.

All 15 secondary schools in the oh-so-progressive borough of Sutton are using these things, made by some company called Phase Space (sounds like something out of Star Trek, tbh). Apparently, the idea is to help these delicate snowflakes cope with exam anxiety, ADHD (which is probably just an excuse for bad parenting and too much screen time), and 'difficult home lives.' Translation: Mommy and Daddy aren't giving them enough attention, so let's medicate them with virtual reality!

Zillah Watson, a former BBC VR guru (figures), claims this thing helps 'overwhelmed and anxious students.' Overwhelmed and anxious? Get a job, kid! Learn what real stress is. Try paying bills, dealing with taxes, and navigating woke corporate policies. This is just pathetic.

And then there's Aelisha Needham, some ethics vice-principal (lol) at Ark Academy. She says they use it in the mornings because some kids are 'deregulated' (another buzzword for 'spoiled brats'). Seems like kids can't handle a substitute teacher or missing breakfast without needing a virtual vacation. Seriously, what are they teaching these kids?

So, instead of learning to cope with discomfort, these kids are plugging into a digital pacifier. Nine out of ten students get an 'immediate drop in stress,' according to Watson. Of course they do! Anything is better than facing reality when you've been coddled your whole life. But what happens when the VR headset runs out of batteries? What happens when they face real problems?

Lora Wilson, a 16-year-old, says it helps her with exam anxiety. 'Exams terrified me. They don’t scare me as much any more.' Great. So instead of actually studying and preparing, she's escaping into a virtual world. This is peak 2026.

And, of course, the NHS is involved. Because why not throw taxpayer money at another feel-good, ultimately useless program? Instead of fixing the actual mental health crisis (caused, in part, by over-diagnosis and medication), they're giving kids a VR crutch.