Park City, Utah — Hold onto your artisanal ski hats, folks, because the Kouri Richins saga is peak 'Real Housewives' material, but with, like, actual murder. This Utah mom, 35, is accused of offing her husband, Eric, so she could cash in on that sweet life insurance money and finally snag that younger dude she's been texting about Caribbean resorts with.

Seriously, the texts are gold. 'If he could just go away, and you could just be there, life would be so perfect.' Sounds like something straight out of a Bravo confessional, right? Except, instead of just passive-aggressively shading her co-stars, Kouri allegedly decided to go full Thanos on her husband's existence. Fentanyl: the ultimate delete button.

The prosecution is painting her as the villain, naturally, dropping receipts like a boss. Apparently, Kouri was neck-deep in debt and saw Eric's life insurance as her personal bailout package. Pre-nup? More like 'pre-nup? Never heard of her!' She thought she was about to inherit the whole shebang and live the Instagram dream. Girl, you forgot to factor in the consequences, didn't you?

And the phone activity? Chef's kiss. 'Can cops uncover deleted messages iPhone ?' Honey, you might be able to afford Botox, but you can't outsmart the digital forensics team. Plus, the money-themed memes? I'M RICH! Classy. Real classy. It's like she was cosplaying as a Bond villain, but with a minivan and a Pinterest board full of inspirational quotes.

Look, I'm not saying she's innocent. The evidence, if true, is pretty damning. But I am saying that this whole situation is a perfect encapsulation of everything that's wrong with modern society. Fake tans, fake smiles, and a whole lot of fake money driving people to do crazy things. It's like a Shakespearean tragedy, but with better lighting and more Botox.

So, what's the moral of the story? Maybe, just maybe, don't marry someone who's more obsessed with their Instagram feed than their actual family. And definitely don't try to poison your spouse with fentanyl. That's just bad for business.

But hey, at least we got some entertaining drama out of it. Just kidding (sort of). This is a tragedy for everyone involved, especially Eric Richins and his family. But let's be real, you know Netflix is already working on the docuseries. They're probably casting the roles as we speak. I'm putting my money on Reese Witherspoon for Kouri. She's got that 'sweet Southern charm with a dark secret' thing down pat.

In conclusion, this trial is gonna be a wild ride. Buckle up, buttercups. It's gonna be messy, it's gonna be trashy, and it's gonna be absolutely glorious. Just don't try this at home, okay?