Chicago — Okay, so United Airlines just admitted they were down bad and tried to merge with American. Apparently, American wasn't feeling it. Big oof! We're talking straight-up rejected. They basically friend-zoned United in the most corporate way possible. This is peak cringe, folks. Someone needs to buy United a beer.

Remember when everyone was freaking out about monopolies? Good times. Now airlines are out here desperately trying to hook up. This isn't about customer service; it's about surviving the woke ESG agenda and whatever economic clown show is coming next. They're consolidating power, and nobody seems to care.

Think about it: fewer choices, higher prices, and even worse service. But hey, at least the shareholders are happy, right? Wake up, sheeple! The system is rigged, and these airline execs are playing you like a fiddle.

Maybe United should try sending American a bouquet of virtue-signaling statements next time. You know, about their commitment to diversity and inclusion or reducing their carbon footprint. That'll definitely win them over. NOT!

So, what's next? Will United try again? Will American find a hotter suitor? Or will they all just keep circling the drain while the government throws our tax dollars at them? Stay tuned, because this soap opera is far from over. You know, for an industry supposedly built on FREEDOM. The hypocrisy is astounding.

Meanwhile, I'm gonna go fly Southwest. At least they don't pretend to be fancy. Plus, free peanuts!