Alright, Patriots, buckle up because it's happening again. Another 'cost of living crisis' hitting the UK harder than a woke mob cancelling Dave Chappelle. PwC – you know, the guys who probably handle Hunter Biden's taxes – are saying consumer confidence is cratering faster than Biden's approval rating. Surprise, surprise.

Their fancy-pants quarterly survey (who even answers these things?) says consumer confidence is at -13, which is apparently terrible. Worse than autumn 2023, when everyone was still pretending the lockdowns were a good idea. Basically, people are broke and scared, and rightly so.

Almost 90% of Brits are whining about the cost of living. Well, stop buying avocado toast and get a real job, snowflakes! Just kidding (mostly). But seriously, 80% are planning to cut back spending. Translation: fewer soy lattes and more complaining on Twitter.

Apparently, people are even driving less to save on fuel. Shocking! Maybe they should try riding a bike. Oh wait, that's probably illegal now because of some new green energy tax or something. The proportion of those driving less has doubled from 12% to 24% since January 2026, all due to that Iran war! They're blaming it on the Middle East conflict pushing up prices. Gotta have a war to distract from those globalist policies, right?

Some dude named Sam Waller at PwC UK (probably a Davos attendee) says sentiment is gonna get worse. No kidding, Sherlock. Anyone with half a brain can see that. Energy and food costs are skyrocketing, thanks to Brandon and his cronies. Remember “build back better”? More like “bankrupt Britain badly.”

GfK, another bunch of eggheads, agree. Confidence is in the toilet. The Bank of England (basically a private corporation masquerading as a public service) admits inflation is “unavoidable.” Well, duh. That’s what happens when you print money like it’s toilet paper.

The Office for National Statistics (ONS) – yeah, the same folks who lied about COVID numbers – say inflation is 3.3%. Probably closer to 33% if you factor in the real costs of things. But hey, at least the hospitality sector hopes the World Cup will save them. Good luck with that. Meanwhile, the jet fuel crisis might lead to more staycations. Thrilling.

And of course, people are worried about their jobs. KPMG and the Recruitment and Employment Confederation (try saying that five times fast) say permanent staff appointments are falling. Because who wants to hire anyone when the government is breathing down your neck with regulations and taxes?