So, remember when WH Smith got woke and went broke… well, rebranded itself as TG Jones, a fictitious 'family' brand that nobody asked for? Turns out, that was just the beginning of the clown show. Now, Modella Capital, the geniuses behind this rebranding disaster, are threatening to shutter dozens of stores, leaving thousands of wage cucks holding the bag.

The excuse? 'Weak consumer spending.' Right, because everyone's suddenly developed a burning hatred for overpriced candy bars and airport novels. Nah, the real reason is that Modella thought they could slap a new name on a dying brand, virtue signal their way to profitability, and get away with it. Spoiler alert: they couldn't.

Now they're begging landlords for 100% rent 'holidays' (translation: handouts) and demanding rent cuts that would make Scrooge McDuck blush. And if the landlords don't bend the knee? More stores get the axe. It's a classic case of corporate socialism: privatize the profits, socialize the losses.

Let's not forget that this is the same Modella Capital that already ran Claire's and The Original Factory Shop into the ground, leaving a trail of unemployed retail workers in their wake. These guys are basically the retail Grim Reaper, and TG Jones is their latest victim. Turns out, DEI doesn't pay the bills, and wokeness is economic poison.

Industry insiders are saying that Modella always planned to gut the company after a block on closures expired. Shocking, I know. It's almost like these corporate raiders have no loyalty to their employees or the communities they operate in. Go figure.

The silver lining? Maybe this will be a lesson to other companies who think they can get away with sacrificing profits at the altar of wokeism. Stick to selling books and candy, people, and leave the social justice warrior stuff to Twitter. Because in the end, going woke just means going broke. Landlords, brace yourselves – this is gonna get ugly. Good luck finding new tenants for those empty retail spaces after the dust settles from the TG Jones implosion. Maybe try a Spirit Halloween pop-up? Seems fitting.

And remember, the free market giveth, and the free market taketh away. Especially from companies who think they're smarter than their customers.