FORT WORTH, Texas – Well, well, well, look what we have here. Another day, another disaster brought to you by the clowns in Washington. This time, it's a fuel tanker truck doing its best impression of a Michael Bay movie outside Fort Worth. An 18-wheeler full of 9,000 gallons of that sweet, sweet gasoline went up in flames after a minor fender-bender and a tango with some power lines. Sounds about right for 2026.

According to reports, the driver was trying to be a hero, preventing the gas from turning a Valero station into a real-life Fallout map. Kudos to him, but let's be real, the whole thing is a metaphor for the Biden administration: a series of well-intentioned but ultimately disastrous decisions that end with everything on fire.

Six hours, water, sand, the whole shebang. Firefighters working overtime to clean up the mess. Meanwhile, gas prices are already higher than giraffe you-know-what, thanks to the genius geopolitical strategy of provoking Iran. Closing the Strait of Hormuz? Genius! Now every soccer mom in America is paying more to fill up her SUV. Thanks, Brandon!

And let's not forget the poor sap who was just trying to stay with a friend nearby. He hears “a loud crash” and sees “a rapidly spreading fire.” You know, just another Sunday in the New World Order. At least he has a story to tell at the next BBQ. “Yeah, I saw a fuel tanker explode. It was pretty intense.”

But hey, at least the fire is a distraction from whatever woke nonsense they're trying to shove down our throats this week. Critical Race Theory in schools? Transgender pronouns in the military? Who cares when you can watch a giant fireball light up the Texas sky?

The real question is: how much higher are gas prices going to go? Are we going to need to start bartering with squirrels for gasoline? Is this the end of the internal combustion engine? Probably not, but it's fun to speculate while the world burns around us.

So, next time you're filling up your tank, remember this fiery Texas tanker. Remember the driver. Remember the firefighters. And remember the imbeciles in Washington who made this whole mess possible. God bless America, and God save us from ourselves.

And if you need me, I'll be hoarding gasoline in my underground bunker. Just in case.

Sources:

* Energy Information Administration (EIA) data on gasoline prices * Department of Transportation (DOT) safety regulations for fuel tankers * Congressional Research Service (CRS) reports on energy security