Alright, folks, gather 'round the Brexit bonfire. Looks like our summer vacay plans are getting a hearty dose of reality thanks to… well, take your pick: Iran blowing things up, woke airlines canceling flights because pronouns are hard, or maybe just good old-fashioned inflation courtesy of the clown show in Westminster. Whatever the reason, the elites at Davos are probably crying into their champagne because us plebs are staying home this summer.

Word on the street (and by street, I mean the Guardian article we’re dissecting) is that UK holiday bookings are through the roof. Lovat's CEO, Raoul Fraser, is practically doing the Macarena, boasting about a 30% jump in bookings. “It is definitely having a positive impact for us,” he cackles. Gee, Raoul, almost makes you want a global crisis, doesn't it?

Butlin's, bless their nostalgic hearts, are also seeing a surge, although their CEO, Jon Hendry Pickup (great name, BTW), admits that folks are booking last-minute, probably because they’re waiting to see if they can afford to eat or fly. Jeremy Hipkiss at Landal UK says people are ditching the passport and sticking to Cornwall, Scotland, and Lincolnshire. Smart move – less chance of getting stranded in some EU hellhole when the next global meltdown hits.

Of course, the real culprit here is inflation, as Peter Munk from Willerby points out. “It’s about the reality of inflation kicking off again,” he says. No kidding, Peter. Thanks, Rishi! Thanks, Bank of England! Thanks, woke environmentalists for making fuel so expensive! Appreciate it. Now, instead of sipping mojitos in Mallorca, we’re stuck dodging seagulls on Skegness beach.

The libs at Mintel (quelle surprise) are trying to spin this as a positive, claiming the domestic holiday market will grow by 7%. Yeah, because everyone wants to spend their hard-earned cash on overpriced fish and chips and dodging rain showers. It's not exactly Bali, is it?

And let's not forget the real elephant in the room: the looming jet fuel apocalypse. The head honcho at the International Energy Agency (IEA) is warning that Europe is six weeks away from running on fumes. Six weeks! That's like, three woke virtue-signaling campaigns in airline time. So, if you are planning that trip to Ibiza, you might want to pack a bicycle.

So, here’s the plan: embrace the staycation. Rediscover the beauty of Britain. Support your local chippy. Just don't expect the government to fix the mess they created. They're too busy virtue signaling and bankrupting the country. The rest of us will be battling for a deck chair in Bognor Regis, fueled by lukewarm tea and simmering resentment. Cheers!