So, it turns out that Keir Starmer’s top guys were in on a scheme to dig up dirt on journalists who dared to question the glorious financial machinations of the Labour Together think tank. pretends to be shocked. You know, the same think tank that got slapped with a fine for hiding a cool £740,000 in donations. Classic.

Apparently, Josh Simons, who went from think tank director to Minister (lol), hired a PR firm called Apco Worldwide – sounds legit, right? – to investigate the journos who were asking uncomfortable questions about the undeclared moolah. Among those in the know were Morgan McSweeney, Starmer's former Chief of Staff, and Paul Ovenden, Director of Political Strategy. These guys were totally clued in on the whole operation.

According to an email from January 2024, Simons was practically giddy about getting a report on one journalist, Paul Holden. “Could we find a time for Tom, Morgan, Paul and me to zoom or meet in HQ sometime after that next week?” he wrote. Zoom meeting to discuss how to silence dissent? Sounds about right for these clowns.

And what did Apco find? Apparently, these “significant persons of interest” included Henry Dyer from the Guardian (surprise!), Gabriel Pogrund and Harry Yorke from the Sunday Times, and John McEvoy from Declassified UK. You know, the usual suspects who actually do journalism.

But here's where it gets really spicy. Apco's report claimed that Pogrund’s reporting could be seen as “destabilising to the UK and also in the interests of Russia’s strategic foreign policy objectives.” Right, because asking about undeclared donations is totally the same as being a Kremlin agent. These people are delusional.

Simons, bless his heart, claims he was “surprised and shocked” by Apco's report. Sure, Jan. That's why he resigned as a minister faster than you can say “quid pro quo.” He claims he thought the Electoral Commission had been hacked, so he commissioned the probe. Of course. Totally believable.

McSweeney and Ovenden, meanwhile, have conveniently resigned from Downing Street over “separate issues.” Yeah, because there's never any actual accountability in this country. Just shuffle the deckchairs and pretend nothing happened. The swamp remains.

What’s the takeaway? The establishment, whether it's Labour or whoever else, will do anything to protect itself. They’ll smear journalists, hide their finances, and generally treat the public like mushrooms – kept in the dark and fed manure. Wake up, sheeple!