Madrid – Well, would you look at that. Spain finally coughed up the files on the 1981 coup attempt. You know, the one where some dude with a mustache and a bunch of trigger-happy pals stormed parliament like it was a particularly rowdy PTA meeting? Yeah, that one. Turns out, after 45 years of top-secret investigations, the government basically said, "¯\_(ツ)_/¯, we have no idea who was really behind it."

Remember that glorious moment? Lieutenant Colonel Antonio Tejero Molina, bless his misguided heart, tried to pull a fast one and install a military junta. King Juan Carlos, channeling his inner Chad, basically told everyone to chill out on national TV, and the whole thing fizzled out faster than a woke joke at Thanksgiving dinner.

Now, the official story is that these declassified files will “shed light” on the situation. But let’s be real. We all know how this goes. It’s going to be a bunch of redacted memos, conflicting testimonies, and enough bureaucratic jargon to make your head explode. Basically, the deep state doing deep state things.

Of course, there are theories. Lots of them. Maybe it was disgruntled Franco loyalists, still salty about the whole democracy thing. Maybe it was shadowy figures in the military, dreaming of a return to the good ol’ days of authoritarianism. Maybe it was just a really elaborate performance art piece. Who knows? Certainly not the Spanish government, apparently.

The best part? This whole thing is happening now, just when everyone's glued to their phones arguing about pronouns. Perfect timing to bury some potentially embarrassing truths. Smart play, Spain. Very sneaky.

And what's the takeaway? Simple: governments lie. Shady stuff happens behind closed doors. And the truth is always messier, more complicated, and way less satisfying than any conspiracy theory you can dream up.

So, pour yourself a glass of Rioja, crack open the popcorn, and get ready to sift through a mountain of documents that will probably answer absolutely nothing. Because at the end of the day, the only thing we really know about the 1981 coup is that it failed. And that’s good enough for me. At least until the next attempt. Stay vigilant, amigos.

Remember that time democracy almost died? Good times.

The Spanish government released declassified files on the 1981 coup attempt, revealing… basically nothing. Turns out, they have no clue who was really behind it, but hey, at least King Juan Carlos gave a good speech.

Sources:

* Centro Nacional de Inteligencia (CNI) - Spanish National Intelligence Center * Congreso de los Diputados - Official Website of the Spanish Parliament