CANBERRA - Oh, look, another politician virtue signaling! ACT Senator David Pocock, fresh from saving the planet one organic kale smoothie at a time, has decided to slap billboards all over Treasurer Jim Chalmers’ electorate demanding a 25% tax on gas exports. Why? Because apparently, skipping meals and rationing energy is the new normal for those pesky plebs, and only Daddy Government can save them with MOAR TAXES.

This gas tax fantasy, conveniently backed by the usual suspects – the Greens (duh), the perpetually wrong Australia Institute think tank, and Labor-aligned unions (because unions LOVE higher prices, right?) – allegedly could rake in a cool $17 billion. Where's it going? Straight into the black hole of 'social services,' of course! Because throwing money at problems ALWAYS works.

Acoss, the Australian Council of Social Services (AKA the professional victimhood lobby), is leading the charge, whining about how people are skipping meals. Maybe skip the avocado toast for a week, eh? Acoss Chief Cassandra Goldie, sounding like a broken record, insists that “current policy settings are not meeting the needs of our communities.” Translation: We need more free stuff!

But hey, let's not forget the real victims here: property investors! Those evil landlords are just trying to provide housing, but no, they must be punished for daring to make a profit. Negative gearing and capital gains tax discounts? Gone! Because affordable housing is best achieved by making investment LESS attractive. (Genius!).

Meanwhile, the gas industry, you know, the one providing energy to keep the lights on and the economy humming, is supposed to just bend over and take it. Because global energy shocks? No problem! We'll just tax them into oblivion and watch the economy thrive. (Narrator: It won't).

Pocock's stunt is just another example of the woke left pushing their agenda under the guise of 'social justice.' They want to control every aspect of your life, from what kind of car you drive to how much meat you eat. And if you dare to disagree, you're a climate denier, a racist, and probably a Putin apologist.

So, buckle up, folks. The Albanese government is under pressure to appease the eco-left, and that means higher taxes, more regulations, and less freedom. But hey, at least the planet will be slightly cooler, right? (Probably not).