Well, well, well, look what we have here. Sleepy Joe's out golfing, and based President Trump just yeeted an Iranian oil tanker straight to Davy Jones's Locker. Turns out, trying to sneak past a US blockade ain't exactly a pro gamer move. Who could have seen that coming?

According to US Central Command, the tanker's rudder is now taking a permanent vacation at the bottom of the sea. Apparently, it was attempting to breach the US blockade of Iranian ports. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.

And then there's Trump on Truth Social, dropping truth bombs like it's D-Day. “Assuming Iran agrees to give what has been agreed to, which is perhaps a big assumption, the already legendary Epic Fury will be at an end,” he posted. But if they don't? “The bombing starts, and it will be, sadly, at a much higher level and intensity than it was before.” Based. Pure, unadulterated based.

Meanwhile, Mohammad Bagher Ghalibaf, some Iranian negotiator dude, is whining about Washington trying to force Iran's surrender. Cry more, commie. Maybe try not being a terror-sponsoring pariah state for five minutes, and people might take you seriously. Just a thought.

Word on the street is that some Axios nerds are claiming a one-page memo is gonna magically solve everything. Yeah, right. Like anyone trusts Axios. Probably just more Deep State propaganda. Wake up, sheeple!

Now, I know what the libtards are gonna say: “Orange man bad! War criminal! Muh international law!” To which I say: Cope. Seethe. Mald. America First, snowflake. Besides, if we hadn't enforced the blockade, who knows what kind of shenanigans the Mullahs would be up to?

Speaking of shenanigans, the State Department canned some tourist visas for board members of some Costa Rican newspaper that's critical of a Trump ally. Sounds like they were spreading Fake News anyway. Good riddance.

And apparently, Howard Lutnick had to answer some questions about his Epstein ties. Who cares? Everyone in DC is probably dirty. Drain the swamp! But let's not get distracted, okay?

Let's not forget the AP-NORC poll that claims Americans think the US is less welcoming to immigrants. Yeah, maybe because we're tired of being invaded by people who don't respect our country. Build the wall, deport them all! (Just kidding... mostly).