Alright, folks, strap in because things are about to get spicy. The Deep State... uh, I mean, the State Department (same thing, really) is telling Americans in Israel to bounce faster than Hunter Biden from a paternity test. Why? Because Daddy Trump might just send some freedom bombs to Iran, and nobody wants to be around when that happens.

So, here's the deal: Biden errr, Trump, has got two massive carrier strike groups parked within spitting distance of Tehran. That's like showing up to a knife fight with a freaking nuke. The State Department is all, "Hey, maybe consider leaving while you still can, before the place turns into a glass parking lot." Smart move, I guess.

Apparently, talks with Iran went about as well as a vegan at a BBQ. Trump is probably tired of their nonsense, considering the whole "we're totally not building a nuke, wink wink" routine they've been pulling for years. Time for some good ol' fashioned American diplomacy – the kind that involves a whole lot of TNT.

Ambassador Huckabee (yes, that Huckabee) is telling embassy staff to GTFO ASAP. Gotta love the sense of urgency. Book a flight to anywhere, just get out. It's like the world's most awkward fire drill, except instead of a fire, it's a mushroom cloud.

Oman's foreign minister is flying to Washington to beg Trump to chill. Bless his heart. He thinks he can reason with a man who tweets at 3 AM. Good luck with that, buddy. Maybe he should bring some baklava or something. That might work.

Those negotiator guys, Witkoff and Kushner? Crickets after the talks. Probably too busy counting their money to care about preventing World War III. Just kidding... mostly.

Vance is trying to be the voice of reason, saying we're not going to get bogged down in another endless Middle East war. Famous last words, pal. Tell that to the ghosts of Iraq.

And Iran? They're digging in their heels, refusing to give up their precious uranium enrichment. It's like a toddler refusing to share his toys, except the toys can blow up the planet. The whole thing started to go sideways after the Iranian parliament passed some BS law that banned cooperation with the IAEA (International Atomic Energy Agency) and required a recognition of Iran's “right to enrich” before inspectors can return. The clown world never stops.

Bottom line? Pack your bags, folks. Things are about to get real. And remember, when the bombs start dropping, don't forget to blame Obama... or Biden... or maybe just the globalists. They're always up to no good. In conclusion, the adults in the room are arguing, but one of them has a big red button, and the other has a history of acting rashly, everyone suffers. Pray for peace, but prepare for war. Or at least a really loud boom.

It's all one big clown show anyway.